Today's topic My Odyssey. Almost without meaning to I participated in an Odyssey. The definition of an odyssey is a long series of wanderings or adventures, especially when filled with notable experiences, hardships etc. Any long eventful journey can be defined as an odyssey. My adventure had been eventful, filled with sorrow and joy. Though the actual trip in miles hasn't been far the richness of the experiences have seemed to be worth thousands of miles.
I have often referred to my career, but for the purpose of this blog post will make it very clear what I do. I have been a registered nurse for just over 20 years. In those 20 years I have seen life and death over and over. I know many dead people. That is blunt, but so true. I have seen people lose their battle with death. I have also had the opportunity to see people triumph over death. It is always a spiritual moment for me. In a way I can't really articulate fully death can also be a spiritual moment. To aide a family in saying good bye or giving permission for a loved one to go is a privilege and should be held in some reverence.
The "people" I work with are children. I see them win or lose their battles, usually with cancer, but not always. Hearts, kidneys, lungs, brains all can betray their purpose and end a life before it has really begun. Often when I tell people I am a pediatric nurse with a sub specialty in hematology/oncology they are impressed in some way or another. I am grateful to make an impact. I am so grateful to be able to affect people and their perceptions of life and death and what it means to the children and their families.
I wasn't one of the idealistic nurses who wanted to change the world. I over the years I have worked with some and they are so dedicated and willing to sacrifice. They build loving relationships with those they serve and make great efforts to ease suffering here and abroad. These are exceptional people, people with visions of a better world. I can only stand in awe of their willingness to go beyond themselves. They set a tremendous example and leave a lasting impression on those they meet and those they serve.
I just want to make a difference in the moment. I don't know that I aspire to change the world but I admire and sometimes have a slight envy for those who do. I just want to make things better if I can here and now. My plan, whether I fail or succeed, every shift I work is to do something worthwhile for those I have been assigned to. Don't think too much of me, I piss and moan and think, please don't assign me this or that patient or disease process. I gripe and complain to my co-workers. I am far from perfect. That aside, my goal is to treat everyone like they are important to me personally, I want them to know I will go the extra mile for them. I do that as often as I possibly can.
I try to do this without getting too close emotionally. This is tricky, tricky. I love the ones I serve even when I don't like them so well. I can't describe to you all the adorable things children say and do. I wish I could open my mind, literally, so you could peer in and see all my memories of children sick some sick enough to die. The are so resilient. I think it is because they don't know any other way to be. They don't know that not every child goes to the hospital to be poked, prodded, woken at odd hours and have no privacy. So, they just do it.
To many of them I am a wanderer, someone they meet in passing. The hope being they will get better and I won't see them again. I use that as a bit of humor when I discharge patients that are just there for something that probably won't bring them back. I say " I hope I don't see you again" I always say it in context and in a way the child and their parents know it's a joke. It has always been taken well. We even move on to "well maybe if we run into each other in the mall".
A few years ago I was in a restaurant close to the hospital and while there I saw one of our patients with his parents. I spoke briefly to the dad and said something like "do you remember me?". I hadn't taken care of them often but had seen them come in for treatment. The dad said something I didn't see coming or expect or even remember. He said "Of course I remember you, you saved my son's life!" I had forgotten, can you believe that? I had forgotten that I saw a deadly situation and intervened quickly. As I write this, I am reviewing again in my minds eye the event. I did something that parent saw as life saving. I knew the situation was serious and needed immediate action and I took the appropriate steps. I just didn't see the impact on how I would be seen. I would love to take credit and stand with chest thrust out, hands on my hips and say with a mixture of cockiness and humility, "Why, yes, I did!!" The reality is just as I described, I identified a problem and intervened. Maybe that's why I didn't remember immediately what had happened.
It's funny my odyssey has taught me about people about the world and about myself. I have learned that I am not as good or as bad as I sometimes see myself. I hope that you in your travels through life get some of the same joys, that you get to learn about yourself and what you can do. More I hope at those times when you are feeling down that you will have a chance to see yourself as others see you. What they see and what you think they see may wind up being so, so different.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Today's topic, Death. I have been thinking about death this month. There are so many thoughts and ideas swirling through my head right now. I don't know if I can capture everything and express it in any meaningful way. But, I am going to try.
A few of people I know are facing death right now. Because a couple of them are patients of mine I cannot speak in any detail about their experiences. Just know that they are young, but old enough to know what death is. My Grandfather, who I am named for, is also staring death in the face. A friend just asked me what Mormons believe happens when we die. Lastly, my sister died a couple of years ago around this time. All these things combined have really got this morbid topic upper most in my mind.
Where to begin? First my thoughts about death. My religious beliefs have really shaped how I see death. I have always believed that we existed as spirits before we came to earth. We were created by our Father in Heaven. We come to earth to gain a body and to be tested, or if you prefer to learn. When our time here is done, our spirits and bodies are separated. Our body buried and our spirits return to Heaven, where depending on our choices we are sent to either spirit prison or paradise. Once the Savior, Jesus Christ, comes back to earth, the resurrection will begin. Everyone, regardless of belief in God, good or bad behavior will be resurrected. After we have been resurrected, meaning our bodies and spirits are reunited in a perfected body, we will be judged according to our actions, our faithfulness and then sent to a degree of glory depending on how worthy or unworthy we have been. Trust that this is a quick, incomplete nutshell of my beliefs about the life and death process.
Because, I have deep faith that there is a God in the Heavens, a reason to be here and know what happens after death I don't think death is the worse thing that could happen. That doesn't mean I like it or that I don't get sad when people die. However, I have a great sense of peace about death not being the end. I have long ago accepted that families can be together forever. There is a reason we often refer to God as our Heavenly Father, the Father or Father in Heaven. We live in family groups here because that is the order of things. It makes no sense to me to love so deeply and be so committed to our families only to be separated by death never to see each other again. We will live with our families in the next life.
At the moment of death our loved ones who have passed, for lack of a better phrase, come to pick us up. We often hear of people near death talking to or about people that have passed as if they were in the room. I submit that they are. Just because we don't see them doesn't mean that they aren't present and even communicating with the one dying.
My sister Dee's death is something I haven't really written about. I talk about it openly, I don't try to clean it up or make it sound less harsh, I just say she committed suicide. When it first happened two years ago, needless to say it was devastating. We, as a family, sat around a waiting room in a hospital for what seemed like weeks but was really just a few days. We sat, paced, cried and prayed while we waited to find out if there was any hope for her to live. I remember the first time I tried to sleep after I visited her in the hospital, I just lay awake for hours, with the thought, my sister is dead, running around and around in my mind like a broken record, over and over again. Being a nurse I knew she was gone, being a woman of faith, I also knew that if it was the Lord's will she could recover completely.
To take care of myself through this I have chosen what some may consider a selfish course. But, I don't care. I didn't know if I would survive intact if I didn't make my own way. So, I talk about her suicide when I want, to whomever I want and say what I want to say about it. I don't care if others are comfortable with the topic or not or what they want to know, I just say whatever. That being said I am not crazy, I don't feel like it is for me to discuss this with my patients or their families, nor do I go around harassing strangers with tales of my sister's suicide.
Oh, and one more thing, do me a favor and don't kill yourself. Please, suicide, as my Aunt Bonnie said so succinctly, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If someone reading this and is thinking about hurting themselves, Stop! There is help and there is a way out. I don't have all the answers, despite the rumors to the contrary. But I know personally how absolutely painful and senseless it is to see someone decide to end it all. I know, personally, how devastating it is to lose someone in such a useless way. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what my family and I have gone through.
I think that death is a part of our cycle of existence. In some ways it could be celebrated. Not like having a party with balloons and a banner saying "So and So is dead, let's paint the town red." But with solemnity, recognizing that someone has finished their course, they fought the good fight and done what the Lord sent them here to do. They are free from pain and sorrow and have returned home to be with their Father in Heaven, their Savior Jesus Christ and the family that have gone on before. How can that be anything but a reason to rejoice?
Yet, it is so very hard in the moment. When we realize that they are not here with us, we can't just pick up the phone and call, we won't see them again until we die can be overwhelming. When we see the injustice of time cut short through circumstances that seem so unfair, it is difficult to understand why. I can see how hard it would be for someone who doesn't have any confidence that this is not the end to find peace or to make sense of death. How very painful it must be to face death of a loved one with no knowledge of what comes next.
Death is part of life, we start dying the moment we are born or so they say. If that is true then let's make every day a day to relish and enjoy. Let's make the most of our time. Do something worth while, something that no matter when you go, you will know you made the world a little better even if you are the only one who knows it.
A few of people I know are facing death right now. Because a couple of them are patients of mine I cannot speak in any detail about their experiences. Just know that they are young, but old enough to know what death is. My Grandfather, who I am named for, is also staring death in the face. A friend just asked me what Mormons believe happens when we die. Lastly, my sister died a couple of years ago around this time. All these things combined have really got this morbid topic upper most in my mind.
Where to begin? First my thoughts about death. My religious beliefs have really shaped how I see death. I have always believed that we existed as spirits before we came to earth. We were created by our Father in Heaven. We come to earth to gain a body and to be tested, or if you prefer to learn. When our time here is done, our spirits and bodies are separated. Our body buried and our spirits return to Heaven, where depending on our choices we are sent to either spirit prison or paradise. Once the Savior, Jesus Christ, comes back to earth, the resurrection will begin. Everyone, regardless of belief in God, good or bad behavior will be resurrected. After we have been resurrected, meaning our bodies and spirits are reunited in a perfected body, we will be judged according to our actions, our faithfulness and then sent to a degree of glory depending on how worthy or unworthy we have been. Trust that this is a quick, incomplete nutshell of my beliefs about the life and death process.
Because, I have deep faith that there is a God in the Heavens, a reason to be here and know what happens after death I don't think death is the worse thing that could happen. That doesn't mean I like it or that I don't get sad when people die. However, I have a great sense of peace about death not being the end. I have long ago accepted that families can be together forever. There is a reason we often refer to God as our Heavenly Father, the Father or Father in Heaven. We live in family groups here because that is the order of things. It makes no sense to me to love so deeply and be so committed to our families only to be separated by death never to see each other again. We will live with our families in the next life.
At the moment of death our loved ones who have passed, for lack of a better phrase, come to pick us up. We often hear of people near death talking to or about people that have passed as if they were in the room. I submit that they are. Just because we don't see them doesn't mean that they aren't present and even communicating with the one dying.
My sister Dee's death is something I haven't really written about. I talk about it openly, I don't try to clean it up or make it sound less harsh, I just say she committed suicide. When it first happened two years ago, needless to say it was devastating. We, as a family, sat around a waiting room in a hospital for what seemed like weeks but was really just a few days. We sat, paced, cried and prayed while we waited to find out if there was any hope for her to live. I remember the first time I tried to sleep after I visited her in the hospital, I just lay awake for hours, with the thought, my sister is dead, running around and around in my mind like a broken record, over and over again. Being a nurse I knew she was gone, being a woman of faith, I also knew that if it was the Lord's will she could recover completely.
To take care of myself through this I have chosen what some may consider a selfish course. But, I don't care. I didn't know if I would survive intact if I didn't make my own way. So, I talk about her suicide when I want, to whomever I want and say what I want to say about it. I don't care if others are comfortable with the topic or not or what they want to know, I just say whatever. That being said I am not crazy, I don't feel like it is for me to discuss this with my patients or their families, nor do I go around harassing strangers with tales of my sister's suicide.
Oh, and one more thing, do me a favor and don't kill yourself. Please, suicide, as my Aunt Bonnie said so succinctly, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If someone reading this and is thinking about hurting themselves, Stop! There is help and there is a way out. I don't have all the answers, despite the rumors to the contrary. But I know personally how absolutely painful and senseless it is to see someone decide to end it all. I know, personally, how devastating it is to lose someone in such a useless way. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what my family and I have gone through.
I think that death is a part of our cycle of existence. In some ways it could be celebrated. Not like having a party with balloons and a banner saying "So and So is dead, let's paint the town red." But with solemnity, recognizing that someone has finished their course, they fought the good fight and done what the Lord sent them here to do. They are free from pain and sorrow and have returned home to be with their Father in Heaven, their Savior Jesus Christ and the family that have gone on before. How can that be anything but a reason to rejoice?
Yet, it is so very hard in the moment. When we realize that they are not here with us, we can't just pick up the phone and call, we won't see them again until we die can be overwhelming. When we see the injustice of time cut short through circumstances that seem so unfair, it is difficult to understand why. I can see how hard it would be for someone who doesn't have any confidence that this is not the end to find peace or to make sense of death. How very painful it must be to face death of a loved one with no knowledge of what comes next.
Death is part of life, we start dying the moment we are born or so they say. If that is true then let's make every day a day to relish and enjoy. Let's make the most of our time. Do something worth while, something that no matter when you go, you will know you made the world a little better even if you are the only one who knows it.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Today's topic How dumb am I supposed to be? OK, I have been trying so hard to keep my cool about our present political environment but I just can't take it anymore.
My concerns today are thus:
1. Taxing the rich. I don't want to defend rich people. I want to defend myself. Every time taxes are raised on the so called rich, I pay. I get a smaller raise, if any, pay more for goods and services while getting less product. Or to save money companies lay off or fire employees which means I have to do more in my community with fewer resources. The government takes taxes and spend as they see fit. They seem to think they know better how to spend my money. Like 800,000 on a conference and more recently 6,000,000. I hear people say that these are a drop in the bucket when compared to what we really spend as a nation. Maybe they are a "drop in the bucket" but drop by drop the bucket is filled. Frankly, we are talking almost 7,000,000 dollars and you can't convince me that that is so little it barely matters. Let me tell you, if I had 7,000,000 dollars of other peoples money to spend with impunity I could do some serious good for the community. I could put kids in college, send them to learn about other cultures, pay for their medicines. The list of the good that could be done with no one putting their hand in the pot can be as broad as our country.
2. Our President not doing his job. I know it is time to run for re-election and he wants to win. I wish someone would tell him something that helps you win is actually being presidential. You know doing things like defending our country. We have been attacked in 27 countries starting on the anniversary of 9/11 and he wants me to believe it was because of a video that was out since June. Right. Oh, and requests from our now dead ambassador for more security were denied. I am supposed to believe that our President is so genius and so awesome that he can think rings around me and yet he can't put this together. The same President that jumped to conclusions regarding several situations suddenly wants to wait and gather facts. To this day there has been no securing of our embassy, no investigation, no facts. I am supposed to believe he doesn't have time to talk with anyone be they foe or ally at the recent UN conference but he does have time to appear on the View. He can talk to our allies on the phone. He can skip intelligence briefings. He can fly here and there campaigning and still run the country. Because he is so awesome. Yet, it seems like things are falling apart. I feel like he is either stupid, or a closet drunk. Maybe both.
3. I am so tired, because I am a conservative, of being labeled a racist, homophobic, ignorant, and greedy. I am none of these things. I just understand that I am responsible for my own self and after I make sure I have my crap together, I need to help others with theirs. I am tired of hearing if I don't support everything a certain group is for I hate them. I am not allowed a different opinion or thoughts on a topic, if I am not spewing the party line then I am a hater. I don't care if you are a person of color or gay. I will like your or dislike you according to how you act, you know the content of your character matters to me.
4. Somehow it is wrong of me to want to keep the money I earn. I work hard, I earn my pay and I should be able to decide how to lift up my fellow citizens in need. Every time, I hear some politician talk about some government program as free, I want to scream. Nothing is free, it is coming out of someones bank account. Mine, yours, ours. Our government thinks they know better how to use our money. It is like the inmates are running the asylum. That makes me crazy. There are some many politicians with their faces in the feeding trough, glutting themselves off our hard work while those in need go without and the conservatives are blamed. They really do like to keep people dependent, if the dependents were actually able to lift themselves up they wouldn't need these greedy parasites who say they are helping while pushing down the down trodden. If people really understood how insidious and pervasive the system of dependency was they would be so outraged we would vote them all out and start over.
Well, I think I got most of what I wanted off my chest. At least, I feel better. You may or may not agree with me. I just wanted to state some things as I see them. I will end by saying that no actual politians were harmed in the typing of this blog.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Today's topic, Traveling. I have traveled more than some, less than others. I driven coast to coast, up and down this great country and love to see the differences and the sameness we have to offer.
First, let me talk about how some drivers need to get places so quickly. I, too, want to get places quickly. I really do. I have what some refer to as a lead foot. I feel that I am a good driver, definitely a good driver. But, I am not crazy. I may be a good driver, but I cannot depend on the drivers around me to be the same. I am amazed at how more, for lack of a better word, bold drivers seem to think that everyone drives at their level. The get so close, and weave around the other cars on the road assuming that the other drivers won't make a decision that could cause a horrific wreck. You will note that I don't use the word accident. It would be no accident. One tap on the brakes, or foot off the accelerator or deciding to move from one lane to the next would end in disaster. Yet, the bold drivers seem to think they know what they are doing. I would agree with that, they know what they are doing. Unfortunately, they don't know what anyone else is doing. Maybe that slower moving car has an inexperienced driver, or a driver concerned with answering their phone, quieting the kids, changing the channel on the radio, looking over the scenery, etc. There are so many variables that are uncontrolled. Maybe, it gives the bold driver a thrill to take the risk of not knowing what the other driver may or may not do or react. Or maybe, the bold driver is an idiot. I will go with the idiot idea. And it is the same in any state or region the sameness of idiots is apparent.
Secondly, let us talk about how beautiful our country is, even in it's differences. The skylines of large cities, compared with the rolling spaces of rural areas. Both have so much to offer. In my opinion the large cities have nonstop action. There is something seductive about the go, go, go mentality. Always something to do, somewhere to go, some fun to be had and it doesn't end, ever.
Then, you have the wide open spaces offered by less developed areas. The trees, rolling hills, gurgling streams that call to us in a different way. Yet, they can be equally seductive. The pull of peaceful, beautiful spaces filled with fresh air and sunshine calls to us too.
I find that I like the offerings of big cities and rural communities. I guess that is why I see my self as a suburbanite. I like the quiet of rural areas, but want access to the action of a city. What to do? Live in suburbia.
I digress, back to traveling. I love to take driving trips, I love to see the beauty offered around the county myself. I love to learn about what is common here or there. For instance, I was surprised that my mom had never had a cannoli. Then, I thought about it. She is from the South, where you are more likely to eat banana pudding. I wonder how many routine cannoli eaters have never had banana pudding?
Sometimes, I forget that even though we are all Americans and all live in the greatest nation the world has ever seen, we are so different regionally. Sorry, that so many of my analogies are food related but it is an easy way to point out how we are different. Barbecue, Carolina barbecue, in my opinion, is the best barbecue you can eat. You look a state or two over and they are eating a completely different kind. It is made with beef, not port, sweet, not savory.
Tea, I don't even drink tea, but am very aware of how stunned people from the North are when they come to the South and get iced tea with their meal. They aren't prepared for the sweet tea that is served. I guess that Southerners are also shocked when they get tea, plain unsweetened tea with their meal in the North. I thankfully, don't have to worry about that. I am drinking water or soda. Of, course depending where you are the water can be a real issue too.
I have driven through some small towns and large cities. I remember a trip through small towns in Michigan. Population less than 3000. It seemed the sidewalks were rolled up at 6pm, the grocery stores closed, every thing would be closed and all good people in their homes with the blinds, you guessed it, closed. I had never seen anything like it. Then, of course I have done driving though big cities with their narrow streets, never ending traffic and scarce parking. I was able to participate in moving day in Boston. Moving truck after moving truck, up and down all the narrow streets, with all the students from all the colleges trying to move from one place to the next all on the same weekend. I have never seen anything like that either. It is such an event, the year I was there, a documentary was being made to record the phenomenon.
Something I have found is that it doesn't matter where you are, there are lovely, kind people all over. They want to help and care about you. Big city, small town, people are people. Kind, loving, flawed. Sure there are some bad people out there. But there are more of the good ones. The ones who will go out of their way to help someone in need. How grateful I am, since I seem to get lost so easily and wind up depending on the kindness of strangers more than my fair share.
First, let me talk about how some drivers need to get places so quickly. I, too, want to get places quickly. I really do. I have what some refer to as a lead foot. I feel that I am a good driver, definitely a good driver. But, I am not crazy. I may be a good driver, but I cannot depend on the drivers around me to be the same. I am amazed at how more, for lack of a better word, bold drivers seem to think that everyone drives at their level. The get so close, and weave around the other cars on the road assuming that the other drivers won't make a decision that could cause a horrific wreck. You will note that I don't use the word accident. It would be no accident. One tap on the brakes, or foot off the accelerator or deciding to move from one lane to the next would end in disaster. Yet, the bold drivers seem to think they know what they are doing. I would agree with that, they know what they are doing. Unfortunately, they don't know what anyone else is doing. Maybe that slower moving car has an inexperienced driver, or a driver concerned with answering their phone, quieting the kids, changing the channel on the radio, looking over the scenery, etc. There are so many variables that are uncontrolled. Maybe, it gives the bold driver a thrill to take the risk of not knowing what the other driver may or may not do or react. Or maybe, the bold driver is an idiot. I will go with the idiot idea. And it is the same in any state or region the sameness of idiots is apparent.
Secondly, let us talk about how beautiful our country is, even in it's differences. The skylines of large cities, compared with the rolling spaces of rural areas. Both have so much to offer. In my opinion the large cities have nonstop action. There is something seductive about the go, go, go mentality. Always something to do, somewhere to go, some fun to be had and it doesn't end, ever.
Then, you have the wide open spaces offered by less developed areas. The trees, rolling hills, gurgling streams that call to us in a different way. Yet, they can be equally seductive. The pull of peaceful, beautiful spaces filled with fresh air and sunshine calls to us too.
I find that I like the offerings of big cities and rural communities. I guess that is why I see my self as a suburbanite. I like the quiet of rural areas, but want access to the action of a city. What to do? Live in suburbia.
I digress, back to traveling. I love to take driving trips, I love to see the beauty offered around the county myself. I love to learn about what is common here or there. For instance, I was surprised that my mom had never had a cannoli. Then, I thought about it. She is from the South, where you are more likely to eat banana pudding. I wonder how many routine cannoli eaters have never had banana pudding?
Sometimes, I forget that even though we are all Americans and all live in the greatest nation the world has ever seen, we are so different regionally. Sorry, that so many of my analogies are food related but it is an easy way to point out how we are different. Barbecue, Carolina barbecue, in my opinion, is the best barbecue you can eat. You look a state or two over and they are eating a completely different kind. It is made with beef, not port, sweet, not savory.
Tea, I don't even drink tea, but am very aware of how stunned people from the North are when they come to the South and get iced tea with their meal. They aren't prepared for the sweet tea that is served. I guess that Southerners are also shocked when they get tea, plain unsweetened tea with their meal in the North. I thankfully, don't have to worry about that. I am drinking water or soda. Of, course depending where you are the water can be a real issue too.
I have driven through some small towns and large cities. I remember a trip through small towns in Michigan. Population less than 3000. It seemed the sidewalks were rolled up at 6pm, the grocery stores closed, every thing would be closed and all good people in their homes with the blinds, you guessed it, closed. I had never seen anything like it. Then, of course I have done driving though big cities with their narrow streets, never ending traffic and scarce parking. I was able to participate in moving day in Boston. Moving truck after moving truck, up and down all the narrow streets, with all the students from all the colleges trying to move from one place to the next all on the same weekend. I have never seen anything like that either. It is such an event, the year I was there, a documentary was being made to record the phenomenon.
Something I have found is that it doesn't matter where you are, there are lovely, kind people all over. They want to help and care about you. Big city, small town, people are people. Kind, loving, flawed. Sure there are some bad people out there. But there are more of the good ones. The ones who will go out of their way to help someone in need. How grateful I am, since I seem to get lost so easily and wind up depending on the kindness of strangers more than my fair share.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Today's topic Shopping. OK, I don't enjoy shopping. I somehow was born without the gene to shop. I should be rich, right? Wrong! I still spend money and shop, I just don't like it.
I think I don't like to shop because of early childhood trauma. Oh, not abuse, but shopping with my mom (gasp). She can shop. She pretends now that she is old and frail. Don't be fooled. Granted she has to use one of the motorized carts now because she is arthritic, but she can shop. When I say shop I don't just mean to purchase things. I mean going from store to store looking at display after display of stuff to buy. See, I usually know what I want, I go to the store that should have it, buy it and take it home. Done. Finished. Mission accomplished. Yeah, with mom, not so much. She does have one of the motorized carts, but they aren't a car, for goodness sake. So, why can't I keep up with her? Especially, when she stops to look at almost everything. It is part of the torture, that's why.
When I shop if I go to more than two stores (which is rare) I feel like crying. Sometimes, I just decide I don't need what ever it is at the third or more horribly, fourth store. "Yeah, I don't need shoes." You know, stuff like that. I try to think about what I need and try to be in a store that carries as much of it as possible, like Wal-mart or Target.
Now that you can buy so much on the Internet I admit I don't mind that so much. Maybe because I don't have to brush my teeth or bathe for that matter, to online shop. Oh, and if I play my cards right I can have things sent to people so I don't have to travel with their crap I bought them. OK, that is harsh. I try to buy people nice things that I think they will like and use. But, when I am stuck dragging it from place to place where they might be, I let it become crap and a burden.
Back to Internet shopping. That is my niche for shopping, and I don't just mean purchasing. I will peruse various websites for things I may want to buy. I have to be serious though to actually buy. I usually just look at the stuff. I go to certain sites looking at stuff and checking the prices. I try to be careful not to get caught up or upset about what I can't afford to buy.
I think it is important to remember there is a difference between wanting something and needing it. For instance, I need furniture for my home. I want Ethan Allen furniture. But, I can't really afford that so I don't have it. I need food to eat. I want to eat out a lot. See, I don't need to eat out and pay more for food, I just want to . I am not perfect at this and get needs and wants confused but I try to be aware. Oh, and my house has cute enough furniture and I have good healthy food to eat so it isn't like I suffer.
I love to shop for other people. I think my second job would be a personal shopper but with a twist. I wouldn't take a list and pick it up for you. Again, I hate to shop. But you tell me you are looking to buy and I hunt it down on the net. Or even better you show me what you are thinking of and I tell you yea or nay. I love the excitement of trying to figure out your taste or getting someone to think in a different direction. That isn't my goal but sometimes people aren't sure about what they are really looking for or they have an idea just not fully developed. That is when I love to help out. I am not saying I know best, I just want to think that I do.
So, despite childhood trauma I have persevered, overcome, climbed out of the shopping Hell of my formative years. I hide the scars, smile to hide the anguish and just say "Charge it!"
I think I don't like to shop because of early childhood trauma. Oh, not abuse, but shopping with my mom (gasp). She can shop. She pretends now that she is old and frail. Don't be fooled. Granted she has to use one of the motorized carts now because she is arthritic, but she can shop. When I say shop I don't just mean to purchase things. I mean going from store to store looking at display after display of stuff to buy. See, I usually know what I want, I go to the store that should have it, buy it and take it home. Done. Finished. Mission accomplished. Yeah, with mom, not so much. She does have one of the motorized carts, but they aren't a car, for goodness sake. So, why can't I keep up with her? Especially, when she stops to look at almost everything. It is part of the torture, that's why.
When I shop if I go to more than two stores (which is rare) I feel like crying. Sometimes, I just decide I don't need what ever it is at the third or more horribly, fourth store. "Yeah, I don't need shoes." You know, stuff like that. I try to think about what I need and try to be in a store that carries as much of it as possible, like Wal-mart or Target.
Now that you can buy so much on the Internet I admit I don't mind that so much. Maybe because I don't have to brush my teeth or bathe for that matter, to online shop. Oh, and if I play my cards right I can have things sent to people so I don't have to travel with their crap I bought them. OK, that is harsh. I try to buy people nice things that I think they will like and use. But, when I am stuck dragging it from place to place where they might be, I let it become crap and a burden.
Back to Internet shopping. That is my niche for shopping, and I don't just mean purchasing. I will peruse various websites for things I may want to buy. I have to be serious though to actually buy. I usually just look at the stuff. I go to certain sites looking at stuff and checking the prices. I try to be careful not to get caught up or upset about what I can't afford to buy.
I think it is important to remember there is a difference between wanting something and needing it. For instance, I need furniture for my home. I want Ethan Allen furniture. But, I can't really afford that so I don't have it. I need food to eat. I want to eat out a lot. See, I don't need to eat out and pay more for food, I just want to . I am not perfect at this and get needs and wants confused but I try to be aware. Oh, and my house has cute enough furniture and I have good healthy food to eat so it isn't like I suffer.
I love to shop for other people. I think my second job would be a personal shopper but with a twist. I wouldn't take a list and pick it up for you. Again, I hate to shop. But you tell me you are looking to buy and I hunt it down on the net. Or even better you show me what you are thinking of and I tell you yea or nay. I love the excitement of trying to figure out your taste or getting someone to think in a different direction. That isn't my goal but sometimes people aren't sure about what they are really looking for or they have an idea just not fully developed. That is when I love to help out. I am not saying I know best, I just want to think that I do.
So, despite childhood trauma I have persevered, overcome, climbed out of the shopping Hell of my formative years. I hide the scars, smile to hide the anguish and just say "Charge it!"
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Today's topic Mormon. Well, with the confirmation that we will have a Mormon as nominee for President of the United States, I feel the need to talk a little about what we believe. Understand that I am not an official representative, am not trying to proselyte, or change minds. I am just giving some information out. Oh, and the above isn't some kind of official disclaimer. I just want to lay out what my agenda is. As ever, I will be frank.
I think that there are so many misconceptions of what Latter-day Saints, Mormons, believe and practice I thought I would give a tutorial of sorts from my point of view. I was thinking about how to cram everything I believe to be true into a short blog post. I don't want to do a mini series so thought that I would go to some of the tenets of our beliefs. They are called the Articles of Faith and can be found in the Pearl of Great Price. I have listed all 13 and will make comments about some of them and will pretty much say anything else that comes to mind. Scripture will appear in blue, non scripture, me, in red.
Before I get to the Articles of Faith I want to make something clear. We do NOT as a church discuss politics from the pulpit. We are encouraged to review the candidates and prayerfully consider and vote for those who best represent our values. From the pulpit you may be encouraged to vote, to support our leaders and military. The Church officials do not endorse any candidate. They may privately do what they will but in their official capacity they maintain a neutral stance. Even though a Mormon is running for President as Mormons we shouldn't vote for him because of his faith. I couldn't in good conscience do so. Just like I couldn't vote or not vote for anyone else related to their race, religion or sex.
1 We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. That is right, we are Christians. We believe in Christ and recognize him as our Savior. There is no other way or means into Heaven but through him. Some think that we try to work our way into Heaven. No, we don't. But we know that even though we are saved by Grace, our Heavenly Father wants to strive to be like Him and our Savior Jesus Christ. Genesis 17:1 1 And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect. So, we try to do what is right, improve upon ourselves because we are commanded to do so. We refer to God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost as the Godhead. They are 3 separate beings. God the Father and Jesus Christ being flesh and bone and the Holy Ghost as a spirit being. They are one in purpose.
2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.
3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. We must repent of all our wrong doing and be obedient to God's commandments.
4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. The need to repent is real. There are steps to repentance. We must recognise the sin, feel truly sorry, stop the sin, and make restitution to those hurt by our sin. That may also have some conflict with the belief of being saved by Grace. We are saved by Grace, but cannot sin and bear no responsibility. That would negate the Atonement. Alma 11:37 And I say unto you again that he cannot save them in their sins; for I cannot deny his word, and he hath said that no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of heaven; therefore, how can ye be saved, except ye inherit the kingdom of heaven? Therefore, ye cannot be saved in your sins. That takes me to the cross. Because we don't wear crosses some think that means we aren't Christian. We are. We have a few reasons for not wearing crosses. 1, Jesus Christ isn't dead, he has risen we don't want to forget he lives. As the literal Son of God he was able to give up his life and take it up again. 2, the death on the cross isn't the only part of the Atonement, don't forget the suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, where he took on the sins of the world, which was so painful, so agonizing he literally sweat blood. Luke 22:44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. He is the Son of God, he wasn't just praying and sweating blood from fear of the scourging and death on the cross. The Holy Ghost has the role of helping us feel the spirit he has many task associated with this. Including helping us to feel comfort, peace and to testify of truth. Moroni 10:5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.
5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. We boldly claim the authority to act in God's name through the power of the Priesthood. We have no paid clergy. Those called serve do so on their own time. We pay tithes and give offerings. But these are for the building up of the kingdom, to feed the poor and care for those in need.
6 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
7 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. We do believe and study the Bible, Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. We study them at church on Sundays and in our homes. We have programs for the youth of our church to study the scriptures. We call it Seminary, over 4 years we study each for a school year, the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. From there we move onto Institute where we continue to study and learn about our Father in Heaven, our Savior, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost and their love for us and their expectations for us to grow and follow our Savior's example.
9 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God. We believe that Our Father has more to tell us in these last days. I think this scares people into thinking we don't feel the scriptures are enough. The world is troubled and chaotic place. I like to know my Father in Heaven is aware of me, aware of my personal challenges and speaks to a Prophet today. The Prophet is Thomas S Monson who oversees the Church.
10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. This a big one. We believe that Christ will come and save His people in person. The second coming will happen and He will personally reign upon the earth.
11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may. We send missionaries into the mission field to offer anyone who wants to learn about the gospel and practice as we do. Beyond that we are taught to respect the beliefs of others.
12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. This is the kind of people we are encouraged to be. To be loving, kind and decent. We are to be of service to our fellow man.
I will end with part of my personal testimony. I know God lives. I know my Father in Heaven and Savior love me, know me personally and that Jesus Christ intercedes for me, personally. Even with all the work to be done I matter to them. As do you.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Today's topic Doing it yourself. There seems to be some confusion about what it means to be self made. No man (or woman) is an island. Of course, if we are lucky we all get a hand up. Whether from friends, family, community or even our government almost everyone who starts something gets help. We want each other to succeed and are willing to support the cause.
I was taken aback by our President saying you didn't build that yourself. So much for self made men. I, as you know say am not easily offended. But that was on the cusp. I don't dispute that we get help. However, the idea, the blood, sweat and tears aren't born by anyone but the innovator/s. A lot of new businesses fail within the first year. If there is truly so much help creating they wouldn't have trouble keeping things going. What keeps them afloat is the hard, hard work and sacrifices made by the creators/owners. Trust me there is no one in the government sweating and sacrificing. They throw some of my money and your money at them and walk or regulate the heck out them. Which too much oversight may contribute to the downfall of new businesses. By the way that takes me to the government (both sides of the aisle) they can't oversee themselves, why should I trust they can oversee anyone or anything? I always feel that the inmates are running the asylum.
So, what is a self made man (woman)? Is it someone who has people see some talent or ability and push them to greatness? Or someone who sees talent or ability in themselves and makes something happen finding and using any resources at their disposal? Or forget about talent and ability what about someone with a dream and perseverance? There are so many people out there who just did and wow what they did. Thomas Edison. 3 months of formal education, and then taught by his mother and is remembered as one of the greatest inventors of all time. Clara Barton, had formal education, but not in nursing, she worked with the wounded and dying during the Civil War and then started the Red Cross. Henry Ford, first generation Irish immigrant, an inventor, industrialist and a head of his time. He wanted the best workers, and paid a premium to get and keep the best. There are so many self starters in our great country. People who have been brave and stepped out of their comfort zone. I have high lighted some well known self starters but there are people all over taking risk.
One person I can think of is my best friend Jennifer. Jennifer isn't rich, (although I hope that someday soon she will be and I can be her Gayle) but she is a brave self starter. She was the first in her family to go to a four year college. She was a teacher and taught for several years. She felt that she should serve a religious mission. She went to France, learned a new language and culture for 18 months. The school she taught at saved her job her while she was gone. She came back and started teaching only to realize she hated it. She got a new job in a new field and worked there for years. With the economy being so bad she was laid off. She has looked for work, with no success, but has taken steps to become a writer. She is really good! She has constantly looked for ways to better her self and share her talents.
With the Olympics just behind us, I am thinking of all the great athletes, they didn't do it themselves. The trained, ate and slept their sport. They had families, coaches, friends, communities pulling for them. People were invested in the athletes success. But with all that support and love when it came to the actual competitions the athletes stepped out on their own. Ultimately, winning or loosing was up to them. Whether they came in first or last, won gold or bronze they earned it themselves. And if they were lucky enough to win a medal, they stood on the podium by themselves.
So, sure no man (woman) is an island. We all need help, but please, no one be so disrespectful and demeaning as to say you didn't do it yourself. It makes me think you don't have any confidence or since of accomplishment in your own successes.
I was taken aback by our President saying you didn't build that yourself. So much for self made men. I, as you know say am not easily offended. But that was on the cusp. I don't dispute that we get help. However, the idea, the blood, sweat and tears aren't born by anyone but the innovator/s. A lot of new businesses fail within the first year. If there is truly so much help creating they wouldn't have trouble keeping things going. What keeps them afloat is the hard, hard work and sacrifices made by the creators/owners. Trust me there is no one in the government sweating and sacrificing. They throw some of my money and your money at them and walk or regulate the heck out them. Which too much oversight may contribute to the downfall of new businesses. By the way that takes me to the government (both sides of the aisle) they can't oversee themselves, why should I trust they can oversee anyone or anything? I always feel that the inmates are running the asylum.
So, what is a self made man (woman)? Is it someone who has people see some talent or ability and push them to greatness? Or someone who sees talent or ability in themselves and makes something happen finding and using any resources at their disposal? Or forget about talent and ability what about someone with a dream and perseverance? There are so many people out there who just did and wow what they did. Thomas Edison. 3 months of formal education, and then taught by his mother and is remembered as one of the greatest inventors of all time. Clara Barton, had formal education, but not in nursing, she worked with the wounded and dying during the Civil War and then started the Red Cross. Henry Ford, first generation Irish immigrant, an inventor, industrialist and a head of his time. He wanted the best workers, and paid a premium to get and keep the best. There are so many self starters in our great country. People who have been brave and stepped out of their comfort zone. I have high lighted some well known self starters but there are people all over taking risk.
One person I can think of is my best friend Jennifer. Jennifer isn't rich, (although I hope that someday soon she will be and I can be her Gayle) but she is a brave self starter. She was the first in her family to go to a four year college. She was a teacher and taught for several years. She felt that she should serve a religious mission. She went to France, learned a new language and culture for 18 months. The school she taught at saved her job her while she was gone. She came back and started teaching only to realize she hated it. She got a new job in a new field and worked there for years. With the economy being so bad she was laid off. She has looked for work, with no success, but has taken steps to become a writer. She is really good! She has constantly looked for ways to better her self and share her talents.
With the Olympics just behind us, I am thinking of all the great athletes, they didn't do it themselves. The trained, ate and slept their sport. They had families, coaches, friends, communities pulling for them. People were invested in the athletes success. But with all that support and love when it came to the actual competitions the athletes stepped out on their own. Ultimately, winning or loosing was up to them. Whether they came in first or last, won gold or bronze they earned it themselves. And if they were lucky enough to win a medal, they stood on the podium by themselves.
So, sure no man (woman) is an island. We all need help, but please, no one be so disrespectful and demeaning as to say you didn't do it yourself. It makes me think you don't have any confidence or since of accomplishment in your own successes.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Today's topic dyslexia. Dyslexia runs in my family, you could say it practically gallops (bod a bing). I have never been formally diagnosed, but if it looks like a kcud and quacks like a duck it is probably a duck. My mom's side of the family has the dyslexia. She had an uncle who was never able to learn to read. He had an amazing memory though. He was the manager of a very large warehouse and knew where every item could be found simply from memory. Several of my siblings and I have dyslexic traits.
I never had trouble reading. I didn't write backwards. One of my brothers would write his name backwards, XER. When my mom realized he was dyslexic she took steps to ensure he wouldn't have the same problems she had in school. My mom was told she was stupid, by her teachers, because it took her so long to learn the alphabet. She reads and writes fine now, but still is fearful of reading in public. I have never heard her refuse to read anything out loud. Just recently while at church she was asked to read a scripture in our women's meeting. I realized that my mom was reading and rereading the scripture to make sure she wouldn't mess up. I didn't realize what a challenge it was for her until she indicated that she was trying not to make a mistake.
My mom researched dyslexia and taught my brother to read and write. In doing research she discovered, poor hand eye coordination, poor sense of direction, poor organizational skills and some other things are all dyslexic traits. I have all of these. I could never learn to play an instrument and though my typing speed and accuracy has improved through the necessity I am still slower than most. I can't really play video games, my poor nieces and nephews have tried over the years to teach me something, but in futility. Oh and forget teaching me dance moves, it ain't gonna happen.
My sense of direction is bad. To help you understand how bad I will give you an example. I lived in a town home for 5 years. In 5 years I came and went hundreds and hundreds of times. In the 5th year I bought a house and moved out. A year and a half later, I asked someone who lived on the same street in the complex to teach my Sunday school lesson. I took the lesson manual over to the street I had lived on for 5 years and took a wrong turn. That is right after a year and a half I couldn't make it back to my same short street. Oh, and it wasn't a large and complicate complex. To my knowledge my mother has never had trouble with direction. In fact when she was around 2 her grandfather would drive around Tarboro and say "OK, Ginny Sue, tell me how to get home." and she would. It tickled him to no end. And to top that off my mom, my younger sister, Celeste and I went to visit the city in Idaho we had lived in about 20 years prior, only to have my mom remember exactly how to get anywhere she wanted to go. I just drove, she did all the navigation because even though that is where I learned to drive I couldn't remember a thing.
Organization. My nemesis. I will be honest I have learned some minor skills. At work I am very organized, but it took a long time for me to get that way. However, when it comes to organization I am at a loss. I admit that now that I have struggled through so much of my life without having real skills at organization I have learned a few things. If I see a situation that is similar to one I have faced in the past then I can organize. Because I don't usually forget the agony of learning how to organize something. I remember when I volunteered for a school here in my home town. I did this for several years and enjoyed it very much. I was supposed to organize and put away the files for the rising 6th graders. The first year I did it took me more than one visit. I must of have picked the slowest way possible without actually not doing it at all to get the task accomplished. I don't remember how I was doing it. The next year the secretary of the office, pointed out a way which only took me a couple of hours. Oh, how sad is that! I took probably 8 hours or so to do a 2 hour job. You will find stuff like that all over my life. Oh, and to rub it in my sister, Ginna, is so highly organized every employer she has points it out in her reviews. I am thinking of a word that starts with B.
I just recently was reading up on dyslexia and found that a cardinal sign of the disorder is to leave letters out of words. I do that all the time. I thought I was just sloppy, which I may be, but at least sometimes it is the dyslexia. I have been working harder spelling the word mentally as I write, only to still leave a letter out pretty consistently. I think of it as a mental hiccup, I am spelling away and somewhere in the process I just skip something. I still get frustrated with myself when I do it but at least I know why.
I blame my dyslexia for a lot, I tell people all the time that some stupid thing I did or didn't do is related to my dyslexia. Usually, they laugh and are meant to, but sometimes I am serious. Dyslexia has many facets. You can have some and not others. But it has given my things too. I don't know if it is a part of the disorder or a coping mechanism but I have a good memory and I am fairly quick to memorize things I need. That is helpful. I will never be a great speller, or a math whiz but I have a mental Rolodex. I am able to remember things well. People ask me to recall information of some sort all the time. And I generally have that little piece of information tucked away waiting to be pulled forth and used. I have a joke. Did you hear about the agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic? She was up all night wondering if there really was a DOG.
I have to thank Eboni. After all the years of not being able to use the less than or greater than symbols which people have tried to teach me over and over she did it! I can now remember which is which. People have use the alligator method, the here we will show you etc. But Eboni used her left hand to make the symbol and told me left is less. So simple and effective! I could never remember from one time to the next. In my field of work we use the symbols a lot. Usually, the symbols would make sense only one way so I would know what was meant. I would ask someone and explain that I couldn't use them if I wasn't easily able to discern what was wanted. I got some strange looks and then they would try to teach me, to no avail. Whenever I wanted to use them I would either get help or right out greater than or less than.
I almost forgot, that's right I don't remember all. I knew a girl around 25 years ago who confessed a deep dark secret. She was dyslexic. She had such shame about it. She told me her parents and said she never tell anyone. She was terrified to read or do much in public because of her dyslexia. How sad her parents decided to make her a dirty little family secret. That was the real shame.
They say dyslexics aren't mentally slow. That could be argued in my case I am sure. I am not complaining, I have stumbled through life OK. I make a living, own my home and with a GPS get lost less than ever and thank goodness for spell check! Holy Cow, you have no idea what you would be reading if not. That is right math and spelling can also be an issue for dyslexics. It is a learning disability that doesn't mean you aren't smart but you learn differently. Oh, how I love being different! It is way fun.
I never had trouble reading. I didn't write backwards. One of my brothers would write his name backwards, XER. When my mom realized he was dyslexic she took steps to ensure he wouldn't have the same problems she had in school. My mom was told she was stupid, by her teachers, because it took her so long to learn the alphabet. She reads and writes fine now, but still is fearful of reading in public. I have never heard her refuse to read anything out loud. Just recently while at church she was asked to read a scripture in our women's meeting. I realized that my mom was reading and rereading the scripture to make sure she wouldn't mess up. I didn't realize what a challenge it was for her until she indicated that she was trying not to make a mistake.
My mom researched dyslexia and taught my brother to read and write. In doing research she discovered, poor hand eye coordination, poor sense of direction, poor organizational skills and some other things are all dyslexic traits. I have all of these. I could never learn to play an instrument and though my typing speed and accuracy has improved through the necessity I am still slower than most. I can't really play video games, my poor nieces and nephews have tried over the years to teach me something, but in futility. Oh and forget teaching me dance moves, it ain't gonna happen.
My sense of direction is bad. To help you understand how bad I will give you an example. I lived in a town home for 5 years. In 5 years I came and went hundreds and hundreds of times. In the 5th year I bought a house and moved out. A year and a half later, I asked someone who lived on the same street in the complex to teach my Sunday school lesson. I took the lesson manual over to the street I had lived on for 5 years and took a wrong turn. That is right after a year and a half I couldn't make it back to my same short street. Oh, and it wasn't a large and complicate complex. To my knowledge my mother has never had trouble with direction. In fact when she was around 2 her grandfather would drive around Tarboro and say "OK, Ginny Sue, tell me how to get home." and she would. It tickled him to no end. And to top that off my mom, my younger sister, Celeste and I went to visit the city in Idaho we had lived in about 20 years prior, only to have my mom remember exactly how to get anywhere she wanted to go. I just drove, she did all the navigation because even though that is where I learned to drive I couldn't remember a thing.
Organization. My nemesis. I will be honest I have learned some minor skills. At work I am very organized, but it took a long time for me to get that way. However, when it comes to organization I am at a loss. I admit that now that I have struggled through so much of my life without having real skills at organization I have learned a few things. If I see a situation that is similar to one I have faced in the past then I can organize. Because I don't usually forget the agony of learning how to organize something. I remember when I volunteered for a school here in my home town. I did this for several years and enjoyed it very much. I was supposed to organize and put away the files for the rising 6th graders. The first year I did it took me more than one visit. I must of have picked the slowest way possible without actually not doing it at all to get the task accomplished. I don't remember how I was doing it. The next year the secretary of the office, pointed out a way which only took me a couple of hours. Oh, how sad is that! I took probably 8 hours or so to do a 2 hour job. You will find stuff like that all over my life. Oh, and to rub it in my sister, Ginna, is so highly organized every employer she has points it out in her reviews. I am thinking of a word that starts with B.
I just recently was reading up on dyslexia and found that a cardinal sign of the disorder is to leave letters out of words. I do that all the time. I thought I was just sloppy, which I may be, but at least sometimes it is the dyslexia. I have been working harder spelling the word mentally as I write, only to still leave a letter out pretty consistently. I think of it as a mental hiccup, I am spelling away and somewhere in the process I just skip something. I still get frustrated with myself when I do it but at least I know why.
I blame my dyslexia for a lot, I tell people all the time that some stupid thing I did or didn't do is related to my dyslexia. Usually, they laugh and are meant to, but sometimes I am serious. Dyslexia has many facets. You can have some and not others. But it has given my things too. I don't know if it is a part of the disorder or a coping mechanism but I have a good memory and I am fairly quick to memorize things I need. That is helpful. I will never be a great speller, or a math whiz but I have a mental Rolodex. I am able to remember things well. People ask me to recall information of some sort all the time. And I generally have that little piece of information tucked away waiting to be pulled forth and used. I have a joke. Did you hear about the agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic? She was up all night wondering if there really was a DOG.
I have to thank Eboni. After all the years of not being able to use the less than or greater than symbols which people have tried to teach me over and over she did it! I can now remember which is which. People have use the alligator method, the here we will show you etc. But Eboni used her left hand to make the symbol and told me left is less. So simple and effective! I could never remember from one time to the next. In my field of work we use the symbols a lot. Usually, the symbols would make sense only one way so I would know what was meant. I would ask someone and explain that I couldn't use them if I wasn't easily able to discern what was wanted. I got some strange looks and then they would try to teach me, to no avail. Whenever I wanted to use them I would either get help or right out greater than or less than.
I almost forgot, that's right I don't remember all. I knew a girl around 25 years ago who confessed a deep dark secret. She was dyslexic. She had such shame about it. She told me her parents and said she never tell anyone. She was terrified to read or do much in public because of her dyslexia. How sad her parents decided to make her a dirty little family secret. That was the real shame.
They say dyslexics aren't mentally slow. That could be argued in my case I am sure. I am not complaining, I have stumbled through life OK. I make a living, own my home and with a GPS get lost less than ever and thank goodness for spell check! Holy Cow, you have no idea what you would be reading if not. That is right math and spelling can also be an issue for dyslexics. It is a learning disability that doesn't mean you aren't smart but you learn differently. Oh, how I love being different! It is way fun.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Today's topic Illegal Immigration, or Illegal Aliens. There, I am not afraid to say it. Everyone is trying so desperately to put a prettier spin on things that are ugly. Illegal aliens are now illegal immigrants because that is nicer. What ever. A lie is a lie, whether you call it a fib or white, it is still a lie. A thief is a thief whether you steal a penny or a million dollars you are still a thief. And if you come over the border illegally you are still an alien. Immigrants are welcome aliens not so much.
Either way you say it the operative word is illegal. It is not lawful to enter our country uninvited. You have to have permission. Thousands of people enter the right way. They stand in line and wait their turn. Why should anyone be able to jump the line?
The definition for alien that I find most salient regarding illegals is "relating, belonging, or owing allegiance to another country or government" (Merriam-Webster's). The illegals do not owe us their allegiance. They break the law by coming here. They work under the table, send money back home, somehow get aid that should be for our citizens, and pay no taxes. That is a sweet gig. Oh, I can hear you. They are just trying for a better life, even how poorly they live here is so much better than where they came from. Really? Is it so much better to have to hide, to be subject to those who would take advantage of someone who can't get legal help because of fear of exposure? Is it better to have to worry about when or if someone will turn you in? That is no better. Everyone tries to ignore the problem of exploitation in all it's forms. I am the Meany who wants them to suffer. Maybe not so much. Maybe I want them to have opportunities with out fear.
Now I hear, from both sides of the aisle, that it isn't fair to make the poor children drug here kicking and screaming by their parents to go back to the country to which their parents have allegiance. For some reason they shouldn't be punished for their parents bad choices. Give me a break. They have taught them fear and don't report crimes against their children because they may be found out.
Children are subject to their parents whims good or bad. And good or bad suffer consequences of their parents' decisions. There are the idiot parents who feel that they are doing a service by making sure an adult is at the party to supervise the underage drinking. They are the buddies. Recently, there was a death due to one of those parents' whims. Parents let their kids ride, what I refer to as death machines, ATVs with no helmet, no supervision and there are tragic outcomes almost every day. Why should children of aliens have it any better? I had to bend to my parents parenting whims. Granted my parents weren't law breakers and teaching me to be a law breaker, but they weren't perfect.
In fact, my parents taught me to respect the law, to have a healthy fear that if I were to do things we the people deem unlawful that I could go to jail. I choose to obey the laws so that I don't get into trouble. I make decisions everyday to keep the laws, to do what is right. How much respect or compassion should I have for those who flaunt the law? I kind of resent anyone who suggest that I should have too much. That being said, I don't want anyone to suffer, I want them to have food, clothes and shelter. Just not off my back and without my choice. I work hard, I have family that works hard and it isn't fair that my hard earned money goes to those who break the law. I haven't even touched on all the laws illegals break, all the crimes that are committed from fraud, to rape and murder. We have enough of our own citizens that are cruds we don't need new ones.
I will submit that there are illegals here who want to make a better life and are willing to do whatever they have to in order to give their families that better life. That is almost noble. They come here work hard, keep the other laws and try to be helpful. Good for them! Now, they need only do it the right way.
I think if people feel that their only option into our country is to be here illegally we should look at the process to get here. Let's look at what you have to do to come to America, were the streets were once purported to have been paved with gold. Let's look at the crooked dealings of our government programs that allow people to grease palms and come here, thus giving those who are poor and down trodden fewer choices. Let's look at the process and change it. There are no rules saying we can't only government officials. You know the ones getting their palms greased.
Either way you say it the operative word is illegal. It is not lawful to enter our country uninvited. You have to have permission. Thousands of people enter the right way. They stand in line and wait their turn. Why should anyone be able to jump the line?
The definition for alien that I find most salient regarding illegals is "relating, belonging, or owing allegiance to another country or government" (Merriam-Webster's). The illegals do not owe us their allegiance. They break the law by coming here. They work under the table, send money back home, somehow get aid that should be for our citizens, and pay no taxes. That is a sweet gig. Oh, I can hear you. They are just trying for a better life, even how poorly they live here is so much better than where they came from. Really? Is it so much better to have to hide, to be subject to those who would take advantage of someone who can't get legal help because of fear of exposure? Is it better to have to worry about when or if someone will turn you in? That is no better. Everyone tries to ignore the problem of exploitation in all it's forms. I am the Meany who wants them to suffer. Maybe not so much. Maybe I want them to have opportunities with out fear.
Now I hear, from both sides of the aisle, that it isn't fair to make the poor children drug here kicking and screaming by their parents to go back to the country to which their parents have allegiance. For some reason they shouldn't be punished for their parents bad choices. Give me a break. They have taught them fear and don't report crimes against their children because they may be found out.
Children are subject to their parents whims good or bad. And good or bad suffer consequences of their parents' decisions. There are the idiot parents who feel that they are doing a service by making sure an adult is at the party to supervise the underage drinking. They are the buddies. Recently, there was a death due to one of those parents' whims. Parents let their kids ride, what I refer to as death machines, ATVs with no helmet, no supervision and there are tragic outcomes almost every day. Why should children of aliens have it any better? I had to bend to my parents parenting whims. Granted my parents weren't law breakers and teaching me to be a law breaker, but they weren't perfect.
In fact, my parents taught me to respect the law, to have a healthy fear that if I were to do things we the people deem unlawful that I could go to jail. I choose to obey the laws so that I don't get into trouble. I make decisions everyday to keep the laws, to do what is right. How much respect or compassion should I have for those who flaunt the law? I kind of resent anyone who suggest that I should have too much. That being said, I don't want anyone to suffer, I want them to have food, clothes and shelter. Just not off my back and without my choice. I work hard, I have family that works hard and it isn't fair that my hard earned money goes to those who break the law. I haven't even touched on all the laws illegals break, all the crimes that are committed from fraud, to rape and murder. We have enough of our own citizens that are cruds we don't need new ones.
I will submit that there are illegals here who want to make a better life and are willing to do whatever they have to in order to give their families that better life. That is almost noble. They come here work hard, keep the other laws and try to be helpful. Good for them! Now, they need only do it the right way.
I think if people feel that their only option into our country is to be here illegally we should look at the process to get here. Let's look at what you have to do to come to America, were the streets were once purported to have been paved with gold. Let's look at the crooked dealings of our government programs that allow people to grease palms and come here, thus giving those who are poor and down trodden fewer choices. Let's look at the process and change it. There are no rules saying we can't only government officials. You know the ones getting their palms greased.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Today's topic, Music. I love music, it really can sooth the savage breast (William Congreve). It can move us to love and tears, anxiety and calm. It can move us to, well, move our bodies and our thoughts.
I almost always have a song playing in my head. I thought everyone did, but found out that isn't so. I did a little research and found that having music in the head can be a sign of depression, which depressed me to find out. However, it can mean other things too. Some call it auditory hallucinations, some Musical Ear Syndrome. Thank goodness the research shows that hearing music doesn't mean you aren't lucid or that you are crazy. Did you hear that? It doesn't make me crazy. Yay! I am told it can also mean you are an auditory learner, that your brain is just filling in gaps so it isn't idle. Some suggest that you can be healed/treated. Hearing music is associated with being hard of hearing, elderly, depressed, tinnitus and lack of auditory stimulation. There is some research and a theory that we will see more people with music in their heads related to availability of music.
I have my own theory. I think that music is ingrained in my feelings, thinking and emotions so I hear music because it is part of my makeup. I find music soothing, comforting, stimulating etc, but mostly I find it pleasurable. The music that plays in my head is usually just a random song I know. It can be related to a word, phrase or situation. Usually, if I hear a good song in the morning I can pull it up and listen to it at intervals all day. I sometimes get songs stuck, oh, that is frustrating. It is hard to change the song when you have one stuck. Once, a few years ago I had just a few bars of a song stuck in my head. It would play over and over and over. I couldn't remember the song just those few bars and it played and played and I was so on edge all the time because I couldn't name it and get it out of my head. Finally, one day out of the blue (I actually may have heard it on the radio) I realized what song it was, and the tension went away, I was able to relax. The song, Madman Across the Water, by Elton John. The first bars of the song played over and over and over....No jokes about the title, please, but really it was driving me mad.
I call having music in my head, my own personal ipod. I hear music and if I get tired of one song I change it out for another. If you think about it I also can see the theory about music being available having even more credence. TV, movies, theater, elevators, phones etc all have sound tracks in one form or another. Is it a surprise that my brain creates it's own?
I will say I don't like Country music. I find it the bastard child of Gospel and Blue Grass. When I go into places that play Country I literally have to find a happy place so it doesn't rot my brain. I have to tune it out. I tell people that there are studies showing Country music lowers your IQ. I sometimes get takers, usually from Country music fans. So, maybe it does lower the IQ.
When I am out in public, driving in my car I have to listen to music I find non irritating. That can vary. One day I may enjoy a song I have heard many times and another I may be so over hearing that song. It depends on my mood. When I hear music that gets on my nerves, I have to do something, change the station, request it be changed or work on tuning it out. Music that irritates makes me I feel like I could jump out of my skin, literally.
I am a good Christian woman and love hymns. Some of my favorites, I Need Thee Every Hour, Be Still My Soul, How Firm a Foundation, The Spirit of God, and Redeemer of Israel, I Stand All Amazed. There are others of course but I really like these. I do not like Christian Rock. I will be singing hymns or go to Hell music and that is about it. My rock and roll is what is it is as are my hymns. I don't need goof ball losers trying to marry the two.
I like old music, I like new music. I can tell I am getting old though. I can't stand some of what the kids are listening to today. So much of it has a hideous dance beat in the background. YUCK. Just sing me a song already. No crappy beat.
I like Classical, Big Band, and about every era in the Rock and Roll genre. I am picky though. Some songs just don't do it for me. There will be "monster hits" that I cannot stand and ones that never get much play that I love. Electric Avenue, by Eddie Grant, hate it. Romeo's Tune, by Steve Forbert, love it.
So, to recap, I am not crazy, I love music and it is normal and OK to hear music in my head. Oh, and I am not crazy. I hope that I am not the only one with music in my head all the time. It can make for a more pleasant and peaceful life.
I almost always have a song playing in my head. I thought everyone did, but found out that isn't so. I did a little research and found that having music in the head can be a sign of depression, which depressed me to find out. However, it can mean other things too. Some call it auditory hallucinations, some Musical Ear Syndrome. Thank goodness the research shows that hearing music doesn't mean you aren't lucid or that you are crazy. Did you hear that? It doesn't make me crazy. Yay! I am told it can also mean you are an auditory learner, that your brain is just filling in gaps so it isn't idle. Some suggest that you can be healed/treated. Hearing music is associated with being hard of hearing, elderly, depressed, tinnitus and lack of auditory stimulation. There is some research and a theory that we will see more people with music in their heads related to availability of music.
I have my own theory. I think that music is ingrained in my feelings, thinking and emotions so I hear music because it is part of my makeup. I find music soothing, comforting, stimulating etc, but mostly I find it pleasurable. The music that plays in my head is usually just a random song I know. It can be related to a word, phrase or situation. Usually, if I hear a good song in the morning I can pull it up and listen to it at intervals all day. I sometimes get songs stuck, oh, that is frustrating. It is hard to change the song when you have one stuck. Once, a few years ago I had just a few bars of a song stuck in my head. It would play over and over and over. I couldn't remember the song just those few bars and it played and played and I was so on edge all the time because I couldn't name it and get it out of my head. Finally, one day out of the blue (I actually may have heard it on the radio) I realized what song it was, and the tension went away, I was able to relax. The song, Madman Across the Water, by Elton John. The first bars of the song played over and over and over....No jokes about the title, please, but really it was driving me mad.
I call having music in my head, my own personal ipod. I hear music and if I get tired of one song I change it out for another. If you think about it I also can see the theory about music being available having even more credence. TV, movies, theater, elevators, phones etc all have sound tracks in one form or another. Is it a surprise that my brain creates it's own?
I will say I don't like Country music. I find it the bastard child of Gospel and Blue Grass. When I go into places that play Country I literally have to find a happy place so it doesn't rot my brain. I have to tune it out. I tell people that there are studies showing Country music lowers your IQ. I sometimes get takers, usually from Country music fans. So, maybe it does lower the IQ.
When I am out in public, driving in my car I have to listen to music I find non irritating. That can vary. One day I may enjoy a song I have heard many times and another I may be so over hearing that song. It depends on my mood. When I hear music that gets on my nerves, I have to do something, change the station, request it be changed or work on tuning it out. Music that irritates makes me I feel like I could jump out of my skin, literally.
I am a good Christian woman and love hymns. Some of my favorites, I Need Thee Every Hour, Be Still My Soul, How Firm a Foundation, The Spirit of God, and Redeemer of Israel, I Stand All Amazed. There are others of course but I really like these. I do not like Christian Rock. I will be singing hymns or go to Hell music and that is about it. My rock and roll is what is it is as are my hymns. I don't need goof ball losers trying to marry the two.
I like old music, I like new music. I can tell I am getting old though. I can't stand some of what the kids are listening to today. So much of it has a hideous dance beat in the background. YUCK. Just sing me a song already. No crappy beat.
I like Classical, Big Band, and about every era in the Rock and Roll genre. I am picky though. Some songs just don't do it for me. There will be "monster hits" that I cannot stand and ones that never get much play that I love. Electric Avenue, by Eddie Grant, hate it. Romeo's Tune, by Steve Forbert, love it.
So, to recap, I am not crazy, I love music and it is normal and OK to hear music in my head. Oh, and I am not crazy. I hope that I am not the only one with music in my head all the time. It can make for a more pleasant and peaceful life.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Today's Topic Stupid things I have done. OK, get ready, brace yourselves, deep breath, I am not perfect. There, I said it. I feel lighter and yet somehow exposed. You now know my deepest, darkest secret. I am imperfect. It is getting easier. Wow! I AM NOT PERFECT....
So, I did something really dumb today. Just like a news paper I will make you wait to find out. You know like continued on page 8 or some such. Anyway, it made me think of other dumb things I have done. The ones I can remember anyway.
When I was 5 or 6 I thought it would be a good idea to tie rope to the handle bars of my bike and use the rope to steer. Some of you may have an idea of how this played out. I will tell you anyway. I tried to use the rope to steer and it wasn't as easy in actuality as it was in my mind. The handle bars were completely unmanageable. I couldn't steer but, bless me, I kept trying. Right up until the wildly moving handle bar slammed into my side. I wound up with one of the biggest bruises I have ever had in my whole life. Ever. I tried my best to hide it from my mom, I can't remember if I was completely successful. You should know I take care of children who do stupid things all the time. I could have injured my spleen, my liver, my intestines etc. I remember how much it hurt to have the handle bar hit me so hard. It hurt for a long time and I kind of limped around trying to get over the pain. Oh, it wasn't fun at all. I have never tried to use rope to steer a bike again.
When I was 8 or 9 I broke several house rules. One, outside when my parents were gone. Two, I was outside after dark. Three, I was riding someone else's bike. I rode someone else's bike really fast, down hill, in the dark, standing on the pedals. I don't remember the fall completely. I remember the sensation of flying through the air and then picking myself up off the road. I had landed on my face. I had blood streaming out of my mouth. I ran into the house, to the bathroom and kept rinsing my mouth over and over. I could see my tooth was half gone and for some reason thought if I kept rinsing I would somehow see my tooth back. No, never. I got a lot of stitches, and a fake tooth. We lied to our parents who were really nice when they took me to the ED. Even after they found out what really happened they didn't give me grief.
When I was a teenager 13 or 14 I used to ride around in our family van while my sister drove. That may not sound like a stupid thing. Try adding I did it with the sliding door open, standing with arms and legs spread to either side holding on. I wish I could say for dear life but I don't think I was that smart. Obviously, I didn't fall out since I am not dead or permanently disabled. You can argue whether I suffered brain damage, but the damage would be before doing something so stupid. Maybe it was a result of landing on my face.
Luckily, as I grew older my stupidity lessened, slightly. When I was around 17 we drove from Idaho to North Carolina. This was before some of the nicer highways we have now. My dad mapped it out and I took turns driving with a family friend. I had never driven for more than an hour or so at a stretch. So, there I was driving across the country. (By the way, there really wasn't much to see in Kansas, or maybe it was Nebraska, either way to entertain ourselves we counted dead animals on the road. That was all there was to do.) Anyway, back to the road, I would get so tired after a couple of hours. I just wanted to fall asleep at the wheel, which is bad. So, the family friend, who is a very nice person, offered me Nodoz. I took it thinking it would help me stay awake. It did. We just happened to have car trouble right after I took it. So, there I was at a gas station in some far off state, hyped up on Nodoz. I could have leapt tall buildings in a single bound. I ran, jumped, skipped all over the place. And then right when I was crashing down after the caffeine buzz, the car was fixed and it was still my turn to drive. Way fun!
Around 23 or 24 I went to the beach with friends. Carolina beach to be exact and had a blast. However, looking back it wasn't the best way to have fun. The waves were strong, I mean Strong. They were crashing down so hard that if you were standing about waist deep the wave would lift you and flip you head over heels with no real effort on your part. The reason that wasn't the best fun is because my whole life my mom has stressed water safety. As a child, mom my would call my sister and I out of the water at regular intervals so we couldn't over tire. She has quite a few they were too tired to get back in and drowned stories. I am also aware of water safety because of her, no swimming alone, take breaks etc. The undertow at the beach can be so deceiving, you don't really know it is there until you are struggling against it. However, I have to admit, I still remember that day with fondness.
Over the years I have done many other stupid things. But I have kept you waiting long enough. I got the oil in my car changed this morning, then I went to get a pedicure (my feet work hard for me), then I needed to run to the Wal-mart. At the Wal-mart I got out of my car and it made high pitched buzz at me, the doors wouldn't lock, the remotes wouldn't work, the car wouldn't restart. My car has a push button starter, no key, foot on the brake and push the button, simple. I trouble shot, I tried the remotes, I just happened to have both, I did everything I could think of to get the car to work and nothing. First, I called my brother, who used to sell Toyotas. He was kind and helpful, but was thinking the only way to make the car start working would be to unhook and rehook the battery. I called the dealership, all the while thinking what did they do wrong with my oil change that my car won't work now. I didn't accuse them of anything just went through my story, the gentleman on the phone was very kind, very helpful. He figured out what was wrong quickly, I had forgotten to put the car in park. The car won't start, the doors won't lock and it makes a "hey, dummy, you didn't do it right" sound when you forget. That is right, I forgot to put the car in park. Before I called I took around 10 minutes or more to try and figure things out. I really tried people, honest. But, I stupid.
So, I did something really dumb today. Just like a news paper I will make you wait to find out. You know like continued on page 8 or some such. Anyway, it made me think of other dumb things I have done. The ones I can remember anyway.
When I was 5 or 6 I thought it would be a good idea to tie rope to the handle bars of my bike and use the rope to steer. Some of you may have an idea of how this played out. I will tell you anyway. I tried to use the rope to steer and it wasn't as easy in actuality as it was in my mind. The handle bars were completely unmanageable. I couldn't steer but, bless me, I kept trying. Right up until the wildly moving handle bar slammed into my side. I wound up with one of the biggest bruises I have ever had in my whole life. Ever. I tried my best to hide it from my mom, I can't remember if I was completely successful. You should know I take care of children who do stupid things all the time. I could have injured my spleen, my liver, my intestines etc. I remember how much it hurt to have the handle bar hit me so hard. It hurt for a long time and I kind of limped around trying to get over the pain. Oh, it wasn't fun at all. I have never tried to use rope to steer a bike again.
When I was 8 or 9 I broke several house rules. One, outside when my parents were gone. Two, I was outside after dark. Three, I was riding someone else's bike. I rode someone else's bike really fast, down hill, in the dark, standing on the pedals. I don't remember the fall completely. I remember the sensation of flying through the air and then picking myself up off the road. I had landed on my face. I had blood streaming out of my mouth. I ran into the house, to the bathroom and kept rinsing my mouth over and over. I could see my tooth was half gone and for some reason thought if I kept rinsing I would somehow see my tooth back. No, never. I got a lot of stitches, and a fake tooth. We lied to our parents who were really nice when they took me to the ED. Even after they found out what really happened they didn't give me grief.
When I was a teenager 13 or 14 I used to ride around in our family van while my sister drove. That may not sound like a stupid thing. Try adding I did it with the sliding door open, standing with arms and legs spread to either side holding on. I wish I could say for dear life but I don't think I was that smart. Obviously, I didn't fall out since I am not dead or permanently disabled. You can argue whether I suffered brain damage, but the damage would be before doing something so stupid. Maybe it was a result of landing on my face.
Luckily, as I grew older my stupidity lessened, slightly. When I was around 17 we drove from Idaho to North Carolina. This was before some of the nicer highways we have now. My dad mapped it out and I took turns driving with a family friend. I had never driven for more than an hour or so at a stretch. So, there I was driving across the country. (By the way, there really wasn't much to see in Kansas, or maybe it was Nebraska, either way to entertain ourselves we counted dead animals on the road. That was all there was to do.) Anyway, back to the road, I would get so tired after a couple of hours. I just wanted to fall asleep at the wheel, which is bad. So, the family friend, who is a very nice person, offered me Nodoz. I took it thinking it would help me stay awake. It did. We just happened to have car trouble right after I took it. So, there I was at a gas station in some far off state, hyped up on Nodoz. I could have leapt tall buildings in a single bound. I ran, jumped, skipped all over the place. And then right when I was crashing down after the caffeine buzz, the car was fixed and it was still my turn to drive. Way fun!
Around 23 or 24 I went to the beach with friends. Carolina beach to be exact and had a blast. However, looking back it wasn't the best way to have fun. The waves were strong, I mean Strong. They were crashing down so hard that if you were standing about waist deep the wave would lift you and flip you head over heels with no real effort on your part. The reason that wasn't the best fun is because my whole life my mom has stressed water safety. As a child, mom my would call my sister and I out of the water at regular intervals so we couldn't over tire. She has quite a few they were too tired to get back in and drowned stories. I am also aware of water safety because of her, no swimming alone, take breaks etc. The undertow at the beach can be so deceiving, you don't really know it is there until you are struggling against it. However, I have to admit, I still remember that day with fondness.
Over the years I have done many other stupid things. But I have kept you waiting long enough. I got the oil in my car changed this morning, then I went to get a pedicure (my feet work hard for me), then I needed to run to the Wal-mart. At the Wal-mart I got out of my car and it made high pitched buzz at me, the doors wouldn't lock, the remotes wouldn't work, the car wouldn't restart. My car has a push button starter, no key, foot on the brake and push the button, simple. I trouble shot, I tried the remotes, I just happened to have both, I did everything I could think of to get the car to work and nothing. First, I called my brother, who used to sell Toyotas. He was kind and helpful, but was thinking the only way to make the car start working would be to unhook and rehook the battery. I called the dealership, all the while thinking what did they do wrong with my oil change that my car won't work now. I didn't accuse them of anything just went through my story, the gentleman on the phone was very kind, very helpful. He figured out what was wrong quickly, I had forgotten to put the car in park. The car won't start, the doors won't lock and it makes a "hey, dummy, you didn't do it right" sound when you forget. That is right, I forgot to put the car in park. Before I called I took around 10 minutes or more to try and figure things out. I really tried people, honest. But, I stupid.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Today's topic Family. I love my family. We ain't right, as we say in the South. Meaning for those of you who aren't in the South, that we are a little off, strange, weird etc. But as my brother once told the father of a girl he was dating, when asked if our whole family was weird, "Yes, but, we are good weird.". That about sums us up.
We are loud. I try when I am around other people to temper my loudness, not always successfully. I tell people that I am from a family of ten children and I am not always aware of how loud I am. Sometimes my being loud can be helpful. Just recently my niece ran into the parking lot of a busy store. I was loud and got her attention. She stopped on the spot and I was able to get her to safety. I was also able to help the man that heard me and had a heart attack. It was small, he's fine. I felt bad for being so loud, I sent flowers. But, my niece is safe and that is the main point.
We are passionate. People think we are angry when we aren't. We are just passionate, no one is mad, we are just exuberant over what ever topic we are discussing. I remember my brother and I were having a passionate discussion about something, I don't remember what, and someone came over and asked us why we were fighting. We looked at each other, stunned, and said almost in unison, "We're not fighting". We were just having a passionate conversation. Being passionate gets me into trouble. I don't feel upset or angry on some topics, but maybe to explain to me what passionate means, revved up. I don't want to fight or cause contention but I get revved. When I get revved some people get nervous, like I will somehow attack them. Not going to happen. Being passionate also means I am a lover not a fighter.
We are smart. I am not saying we are all going around solving the worlds problems or debating the Universe with Steven Hawking, I am just saying we ain't dumb. Because we are smart and passionate we like to be in charge. You might think this would cause a lot of fights amongst us all. I won't lie, we fight sometimes. However, we have kind of picked our sister Ginna to be the family organizer, the CEO if you will. She does a good job of telling us what to do. We just take our assignments and go. It is because she excels at organization that we let her be in charge so much. See, we ain't dumb. If she were not good at organizing we would revolt and elect a new leader.
We are curious. We like to know things, how things work, why things are the way they are etc. Which can lead to trouble. If in our curiosity we find things are stupid, it bothers us. Most people don't like their pet projects shot down because they don't make sense which ever one of us is asking intelligent (hopefully) questions about the what and how of something. However, it can be helpful too, we like to read or watch things just to learn for pleasure. A lot of people do that but a lot of people don't. We are just some of the ones that do and we tend to remember and apply things we have learned and maybe help someone make their pet project better. That is the dream any way. Better to have the dream than the drama which with my passionate family could be a reality too.
We are loyal. We tend to stick with our friends, we aren't perfect but you can count on us to get your back. I once had a friend that I supported. It was a long time ago, and so school age, elementary school age no less. She was also friends with another girl and they had a falling out. I don't even remember over what. But, they were going to fight. Our whole grade was aware and picked sides. Here is how the sides wound up me and girl A, against girl B and the rest of the grade. I won't lie I think it crossed mind that the odds were way against us and maybe I didn't need to participate or support anyone. In the end I felt that I had to stand by, I couldn't let certain loss or fear make my decision for me. I stood by her. And do you want to know what, it wound up being more hype, more drama than confrontation. They had a fight, not much of one, some hair pulling etc and the police showed up and that was the end. I watched as they were both put into the same police cruiser. I never asked but am willing to bet that being taken away in handcuffs made them friends again if only for the car ride.
We are what we are which is a family. We don't make excuses for being what we are, we just are. So here's to being a little weird. We ain't perfect, but we are have a certain something that keeps us going and hopefully fills the empty spaces around us with more joy than pain.
We are loud. I try when I am around other people to temper my loudness, not always successfully. I tell people that I am from a family of ten children and I am not always aware of how loud I am. Sometimes my being loud can be helpful. Just recently my niece ran into the parking lot of a busy store. I was loud and got her attention. She stopped on the spot and I was able to get her to safety. I was also able to help the man that heard me and had a heart attack. It was small, he's fine. I felt bad for being so loud, I sent flowers. But, my niece is safe and that is the main point.
We are passionate. People think we are angry when we aren't. We are just passionate, no one is mad, we are just exuberant over what ever topic we are discussing. I remember my brother and I were having a passionate discussion about something, I don't remember what, and someone came over and asked us why we were fighting. We looked at each other, stunned, and said almost in unison, "We're not fighting". We were just having a passionate conversation. Being passionate gets me into trouble. I don't feel upset or angry on some topics, but maybe to explain to me what passionate means, revved up. I don't want to fight or cause contention but I get revved. When I get revved some people get nervous, like I will somehow attack them. Not going to happen. Being passionate also means I am a lover not a fighter.
We are smart. I am not saying we are all going around solving the worlds problems or debating the Universe with Steven Hawking, I am just saying we ain't dumb. Because we are smart and passionate we like to be in charge. You might think this would cause a lot of fights amongst us all. I won't lie, we fight sometimes. However, we have kind of picked our sister Ginna to be the family organizer, the CEO if you will. She does a good job of telling us what to do. We just take our assignments and go. It is because she excels at organization that we let her be in charge so much. See, we ain't dumb. If she were not good at organizing we would revolt and elect a new leader.
We are curious. We like to know things, how things work, why things are the way they are etc. Which can lead to trouble. If in our curiosity we find things are stupid, it bothers us. Most people don't like their pet projects shot down because they don't make sense which ever one of us is asking intelligent (hopefully) questions about the what and how of something. However, it can be helpful too, we like to read or watch things just to learn for pleasure. A lot of people do that but a lot of people don't. We are just some of the ones that do and we tend to remember and apply things we have learned and maybe help someone make their pet project better. That is the dream any way. Better to have the dream than the drama which with my passionate family could be a reality too.
We are loyal. We tend to stick with our friends, we aren't perfect but you can count on us to get your back. I once had a friend that I supported. It was a long time ago, and so school age, elementary school age no less. She was also friends with another girl and they had a falling out. I don't even remember over what. But, they were going to fight. Our whole grade was aware and picked sides. Here is how the sides wound up me and girl A, against girl B and the rest of the grade. I won't lie I think it crossed mind that the odds were way against us and maybe I didn't need to participate or support anyone. In the end I felt that I had to stand by, I couldn't let certain loss or fear make my decision for me. I stood by her. And do you want to know what, it wound up being more hype, more drama than confrontation. They had a fight, not much of one, some hair pulling etc and the police showed up and that was the end. I watched as they were both put into the same police cruiser. I never asked but am willing to bet that being taken away in handcuffs made them friends again if only for the car ride.
We are what we are which is a family. We don't make excuses for being what we are, we just are. So here's to being a little weird. We ain't perfect, but we are have a certain something that keeps us going and hopefully fills the empty spaces around us with more joy than pain.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Today's topic, Makeup. Now, I am finally getting to the core of my existence forget about anything else I say I believe in because makeup is really it.
I love makeup. In my family you had to be 12 years old to wear any kind of makeup. 12 is still young but that was the rule in our house. You could play dress up and put on makeup but you wouldn't be wearing it in public. Which takes me off topic slightly, to Toddler's in Tiaras or the horrific practice of sexualizing our children. I only see the promos for the show, I don't watch it, the promos are bad enough. My sister in-law spoke to me about it and said that usually the moms were overweight and unattractive. I feel that is partly true, one way or another the moms (or dads) are trying to feel good about themselves, get some validation, whatever through their children. Excuse me, I have to go vomit. OK, I am back. Don't do this to your kids, honestly, it can't be healthy for them mentally or emotionally.
Now to more pleasant issues. Makeup, I love it. I love to wear it, I love to buy it, I love to look at it, I love to think about how I will put in on. I always say if I were rich, I wouldn't have a big closet filled with clothes or lots of shoes, jewelry (although, I am not crazy, I would have some). I would have a room dedicated to my makeup. With great lighting, mirrors and enough room to put all the different kinds of makeup I want.
I love eyeshadow, and lipstick the best. Friends have been astounded at how many lipsticks I have for just work. I have work lipstick and lipstick for home and abroad. There is really no difference between them except work lipstick is kept in my work bag and home and abroad isn't, but they are interchangeable. My eyeshadow collection is huge for one person. I have all kinds of shades some I never wear but can't make myself get rid of. What if one day I needed that shade emergently, and then had to live with the knowledge of what could have been?
I find it ironic that as much as I love lipstick, I tend to buy the same shade a lot. The shade is a mauve. Sometimes a little darker or lighter but I am drawn to one in a store and say to myself you have this one in ten shades. I usually do. I like red and pink. Occasionally, I will wear a coral shade but this is rare since I can't do oranges well.
When I was young I wore the ultra frosted eyeshadow they made in the 70s/80s. You can still find it but why would you want to? There is a difference in some shimmer and frosted, trust me! I remember wearing frosted peacock blue, and thinking I was HOT. Remember, I said I love makeup, not that I have always been good with how I apply it. I am better now at wearing colors to bring out the color of my eyes. When I was young, my eyes were very blue. They are still blue, but with more hazel now so I can my my eyes look bluer or greener depending on what shades I use. Now that I am older I try to have more matte eyeshadow, I still have a bit of shimmer, but frosted eyeshadow makes you look older and I don't need that!
I will tell you the secrets to good makeup application. Ready, here it is, right now for you. No games, no tricks, no stalling....OK I was just being funny. The first secret to good makeup is buy colors that work for your skin tone, in other words if you have a sallow skin tone don't go buying pink shades of foundation hoping to change things, you just wind up looking like your face is one color and the rest of you another which equals bad. Second secret, blend, blend, blend. Don't just slap the makeup on, blend it in so it flows from one thing to the next well. Like your blush shouldn't stick out like to weird flags on your cheeks, it should just subtly be there and you shouldn't have a ring around your face delineating your foundation application. Third, don't over do it. Less is more. OK, those who know me stop laughing, I am talking about the people who come out looking like clowns. Calm down, people, calm down. Fourth, and I can't stress this enough, please, under no circumstances should you over pluck your eyebrows. You aren't making your eyes look bigger, you just look permanently surprised, or depending on your style, angry. The fifth secret is to follow the brow line when shaping your brows. If need be let things grow in and seek out professional help. Please!!
I was recently, on an elevator with some young women heading into work. It had been raining and one was discussing with the other the accidents she had seen. She had seen two. I looked at her eyebrows and all I could think was, three. That is right, I am going to hell, but at least my makeup will be on straight. Or maybe my hell will be never wearing makeup again, or horrors, having to look at bad, bad makeup over and over again. I need to repent!
I love makeup. In my family you had to be 12 years old to wear any kind of makeup. 12 is still young but that was the rule in our house. You could play dress up and put on makeup but you wouldn't be wearing it in public. Which takes me off topic slightly, to Toddler's in Tiaras or the horrific practice of sexualizing our children. I only see the promos for the show, I don't watch it, the promos are bad enough. My sister in-law spoke to me about it and said that usually the moms were overweight and unattractive. I feel that is partly true, one way or another the moms (or dads) are trying to feel good about themselves, get some validation, whatever through their children. Excuse me, I have to go vomit. OK, I am back. Don't do this to your kids, honestly, it can't be healthy for them mentally or emotionally.
Now to more pleasant issues. Makeup, I love it. I love to wear it, I love to buy it, I love to look at it, I love to think about how I will put in on. I always say if I were rich, I wouldn't have a big closet filled with clothes or lots of shoes, jewelry (although, I am not crazy, I would have some). I would have a room dedicated to my makeup. With great lighting, mirrors and enough room to put all the different kinds of makeup I want.
I love eyeshadow, and lipstick the best. Friends have been astounded at how many lipsticks I have for just work. I have work lipstick and lipstick for home and abroad. There is really no difference between them except work lipstick is kept in my work bag and home and abroad isn't, but they are interchangeable. My eyeshadow collection is huge for one person. I have all kinds of shades some I never wear but can't make myself get rid of. What if one day I needed that shade emergently, and then had to live with the knowledge of what could have been?
I find it ironic that as much as I love lipstick, I tend to buy the same shade a lot. The shade is a mauve. Sometimes a little darker or lighter but I am drawn to one in a store and say to myself you have this one in ten shades. I usually do. I like red and pink. Occasionally, I will wear a coral shade but this is rare since I can't do oranges well.
When I was young I wore the ultra frosted eyeshadow they made in the 70s/80s. You can still find it but why would you want to? There is a difference in some shimmer and frosted, trust me! I remember wearing frosted peacock blue, and thinking I was HOT. Remember, I said I love makeup, not that I have always been good with how I apply it. I am better now at wearing colors to bring out the color of my eyes. When I was young, my eyes were very blue. They are still blue, but with more hazel now so I can my my eyes look bluer or greener depending on what shades I use. Now that I am older I try to have more matte eyeshadow, I still have a bit of shimmer, but frosted eyeshadow makes you look older and I don't need that!
I will tell you the secrets to good makeup application. Ready, here it is, right now for you. No games, no tricks, no stalling....OK I was just being funny. The first secret to good makeup is buy colors that work for your skin tone, in other words if you have a sallow skin tone don't go buying pink shades of foundation hoping to change things, you just wind up looking like your face is one color and the rest of you another which equals bad. Second secret, blend, blend, blend. Don't just slap the makeup on, blend it in so it flows from one thing to the next well. Like your blush shouldn't stick out like to weird flags on your cheeks, it should just subtly be there and you shouldn't have a ring around your face delineating your foundation application. Third, don't over do it. Less is more. OK, those who know me stop laughing, I am talking about the people who come out looking like clowns. Calm down, people, calm down. Fourth, and I can't stress this enough, please, under no circumstances should you over pluck your eyebrows. You aren't making your eyes look bigger, you just look permanently surprised, or depending on your style, angry. The fifth secret is to follow the brow line when shaping your brows. If need be let things grow in and seek out professional help. Please!!
I was recently, on an elevator with some young women heading into work. It had been raining and one was discussing with the other the accidents she had seen. She had seen two. I looked at her eyebrows and all I could think was, three. That is right, I am going to hell, but at least my makeup will be on straight. Or maybe my hell will be never wearing makeup again, or horrors, having to look at bad, bad makeup over and over again. I need to repent!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Today's topic, Technology. I am very grateful to live in such a technologically advanced era. I can't imagine how I would do living before indoor plumbing, washing machines, and phones. How truly blessed I feel to have the opportunity to use so many advances in my day to day life.
Some of the things we may think of as pretty new were actually around a long time before being common place. There is an old movie, called Made for Each Other with Jimmy Stewart and Carol Lombard and in this film they show a fancy new technology, a fax being sent and received is shown. The movie was made in 1939. Some form of fax technology has been around since the mid to late 1900th century. Ma and Pa Kettle had a series of movies and in one of them they win the house of the future complete with a microwave, this movie was released in 1950. The microwave ovens have been around since the late 1940s. I bring this up because at least to me, neither of these were really heard of until much later. I think I first heard of microwaves in the late 1970s and even baby sat for a family who had one I tried to use it, epic fail. Fax's, I don't think I was aware of until the mid to late 1980s.
I remember when HBO was launched the first paid for movie channel. We didn't have cable, let alone HBO. The joke was some kid would ask if you had HBO if you said yes then they would say "Ha, you have Hideous Body Odor!" Thank goodness I was able to answer no so often! Now there are tons of movie channels to choose from. I am still to cheap to pay for any that don't come with regular cable. With Netflix, Hulu and Youtube, honestly, who needs movie channels?
One of my favorite things is watching movies that use technology. Sometimes the technology if far advanced from anything we know, so powerful and stunning we are in awe. But, my favorite is a disaster movie when all the advanced technology is out, destroyed, unusable etc. The only way to save the day is some archaic form of technology like a land line, type writer, or regular TV. There is always someone who just happens to know how to use the strange device that just happens to be where all the good guys have congregated. Amazing! And by using this they are able to out wit the bad guys or overcome what ever obstacle was preventing them from saving the day.
So, Yay!, for such great advances. Now, to the down side. When I was young we went on many car trips sometimes with several cars all following along. If one of the cars needed to stop for any reason they just flashed their brights or if in the lead, pulled off. Simple, right? Now we all have cell phones and call back and forth to decide where to pull over, where to eat or use the restroom. The conversations can be so lengthy, trying to decide. Just make a decision already! Don't fight over where we will eat for an hour while everyone gets hungrier and angrier. That is a recipe for disaster. Been there and done that as it were.
I still get a little weirded out when I am in public and hear someone seemingly talking to themselves. For a few moments I can't tell if they have blue tooth or are crazy. I eaves drop slightly on the conversation just until I know. That way if they are crazy I have time to get out of their I might kill you if the voices tell me to way.
It also cracks me up how dependant we are on the cell phone, I include myself in this category. I managed to stumble through 30 odd years of life with out a cell phone and now for the last 10-15 years it is a necessity. I have done a lot of driving by myself all over the country. My mom will say something like "Keep your cell phone out on the seat just in case." Like it can stop a bomb, or bullet or prevent a wreck. Or any one of us children is leaving the house for any reason she finds concerning "Oh, you have your cell phone with you" again like it can deflect bullets or the mugger will run from the phone in your hand.
.
I am making fun of some of the marvels we have available but I so grateful for things like air conditioning, washers and dryers, in door plumbing, LCD TV, DVR, CDs cars, planes, electricity etc the list is almost endless. Because of the incredible things we can do, I just expect some things to work, in my opinion, better. I get frustrated when things don't work like they should and when I talk to people who work with the particular piece of technology I am irritated with I tend to say things like "If we can do surgery in utero, put men on the moon, use lasers to improve our vision surely we can do X" They rarely see it my way. Just wait until we actually have time machines I will make sure my quirks are accounted for!
ast but for sure not least let me not forget modern dentistry. I would be almost toothless without all the fillings and caps I have acquired over the years. My two front teeth would be gone, long gone. But thanks to modern science I can flash a quasi winning smile at will.
Some of the things we may think of as pretty new were actually around a long time before being common place. There is an old movie, called Made for Each Other with Jimmy Stewart and Carol Lombard and in this film they show a fancy new technology, a fax being sent and received is shown. The movie was made in 1939. Some form of fax technology has been around since the mid to late 1900th century. Ma and Pa Kettle had a series of movies and in one of them they win the house of the future complete with a microwave, this movie was released in 1950. The microwave ovens have been around since the late 1940s. I bring this up because at least to me, neither of these were really heard of until much later. I think I first heard of microwaves in the late 1970s and even baby sat for a family who had one I tried to use it, epic fail. Fax's, I don't think I was aware of until the mid to late 1980s.
I remember when HBO was launched the first paid for movie channel. We didn't have cable, let alone HBO. The joke was some kid would ask if you had HBO if you said yes then they would say "Ha, you have Hideous Body Odor!" Thank goodness I was able to answer no so often! Now there are tons of movie channels to choose from. I am still to cheap to pay for any that don't come with regular cable. With Netflix, Hulu and Youtube, honestly, who needs movie channels?
One of my favorite things is watching movies that use technology. Sometimes the technology if far advanced from anything we know, so powerful and stunning we are in awe. But, my favorite is a disaster movie when all the advanced technology is out, destroyed, unusable etc. The only way to save the day is some archaic form of technology like a land line, type writer, or regular TV. There is always someone who just happens to know how to use the strange device that just happens to be where all the good guys have congregated. Amazing! And by using this they are able to out wit the bad guys or overcome what ever obstacle was preventing them from saving the day.
So, Yay!, for such great advances. Now, to the down side. When I was young we went on many car trips sometimes with several cars all following along. If one of the cars needed to stop for any reason they just flashed their brights or if in the lead, pulled off. Simple, right? Now we all have cell phones and call back and forth to decide where to pull over, where to eat or use the restroom. The conversations can be so lengthy, trying to decide. Just make a decision already! Don't fight over where we will eat for an hour while everyone gets hungrier and angrier. That is a recipe for disaster. Been there and done that as it were.
I still get a little weirded out when I am in public and hear someone seemingly talking to themselves. For a few moments I can't tell if they have blue tooth or are crazy. I eaves drop slightly on the conversation just until I know. That way if they are crazy I have time to get out of their I might kill you if the voices tell me to way.
It also cracks me up how dependant we are on the cell phone, I include myself in this category. I managed to stumble through 30 odd years of life with out a cell phone and now for the last 10-15 years it is a necessity. I have done a lot of driving by myself all over the country. My mom will say something like "Keep your cell phone out on the seat just in case." Like it can stop a bomb, or bullet or prevent a wreck. Or any one of us children is leaving the house for any reason she finds concerning "Oh, you have your cell phone with you" again like it can deflect bullets or the mugger will run from the phone in your hand.
.
I am making fun of some of the marvels we have available but I so grateful for things like air conditioning, washers and dryers, in door plumbing, LCD TV, DVR, CDs cars, planes, electricity etc the list is almost endless. Because of the incredible things we can do, I just expect some things to work, in my opinion, better. I get frustrated when things don't work like they should and when I talk to people who work with the particular piece of technology I am irritated with I tend to say things like "If we can do surgery in utero, put men on the moon, use lasers to improve our vision surely we can do X" They rarely see it my way. Just wait until we actually have time machines I will make sure my quirks are accounted for!
ast but for sure not least let me not forget modern dentistry. I would be almost toothless without all the fillings and caps I have acquired over the years. My two front teeth would be gone, long gone. But thanks to modern science I can flash a quasi winning smile at will.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Today's topic Dreams. Dream fascinate me, I try to remember my own but they are so elusive. I remember snatches of my dreams, for a while at least. I love to interpret dreams, sometimes I get it right.
I told you I remember snatches of dreams and that is true but there are two dreams I had as a child that I still recall pretty well. In one dream I am sitting on my parents bed, getting dressed. In my mind I can see the room, the bed, the bedspread so clearly. The the nylon white ankle socks I am supposed to put on fall off the bed and start rolling away. I try to catch them, but, they roll behind the curtains and when I pull back the curtains to find them they are big. They keep getting bigger and bigger until they are much bigger than me. Then they start rolling toward me chasing me all over the room. That is right, I was being stalked and terrorized by socks. I realize why I had that dream, the reason actually was pretty simple. I hated wearing socks. In Wilmington, NC on a hot summers day nylon socks coupled with shoes would make my feet so hot I could barely think or function. I remember asking my mom if I could wear the shoes without socks but she wouldn't let me. To this day if my feet are too hot I want to jump out of my skin. I think that dream came around the time I had to wear shoes, real shoes not thin sneakers or sandals. but school shoes. The play ground at my elementary school was sand, hot blazing sand. So, that dream was me coping with how big it was to suddenly go from a barefoot, free little girl to a shoe wearing little girl trying to play on a play ground filled with hot blazing sand. I am not sure how the dream ended but I think it ended with the socks shrinking back down and me putting them on.
The second dream was also scary, to me. I think it was a dream about how I could avoid danger or feel strong in my own little world. For those of you who don't know I love the water. My mom tells me she used to throw my in the water at 10 months of age and I would swim back to her (No cracks about my mom throwing me in the water). Sometimes when my sister was in school mom and I would go to the pool together and mom would tread water in the deep end while I jumped from the diving board. She would always be there to pull me out of the water. I remember a little less of second dream. I am at the pool at the apartment complex we lived in. I am standing on the diving board getting ready to jump into the water. Then there is a monster, it was kind of a mix between a what used to be called a brontosaurus, and an octopus it had the head and partial body of a brontosaurus but with tentacle like arms of an octopus. The monster kept grabbing people from the pool area, people I knew and dipping them in the water, head first. I don't think I understood death at that age so it was terrifying to me to see the people being dipped in the water head first. They were scared and screaming. There I stood on the diving board exposed and yet the monster didn't see me. It kept grabbing people and dipping them and I was so scared it would notice me on the diving board and yet it didn't. I was some how safe from the hideous monster. I remember feeling relieved at not being noticed. It is vague but maybe at one point the monster did see me but didn't do anything, I am no sure. I don't remember how it ended but I still remember what the monster looked like and can still see in my minds eye the monster dipping people in the water.
I love to interpret dreams, some times it is very easy to see what someones dreams are about. Both of my younger sisters have had dreams with babies that were very advanced and could do things that a baby shouldn't be able to do. Some negative person always is mean to the baby is some way. I realized that each of them had a new idea for work that people weren't on board for. The "baby" is the idea that they feel is good idea and will work well but there is always someone to be negative about trying something new.
Another one recently was from some who was worried she was too concerned with her looks, particularly her hair. The dream broke down to her being an a plane that was going down and while everyone else is getting ready for a crash, she is packing her suitcase, worrying about where to place her blow dryer. Friends had teased her that she was to into her hair. But, I asked if there was something coming up that she wasn't ready for, a decision unmade or something like that, I can't remember exactly. However, sure enough she had two choices about where she would go next, both were good ,but the time was short, and she couldn't decide. So, there she was in her dream with time running out on a plane about to go down and she is packing. I couldn't help her make a decision but at least I helped her to know she wasn't that vain.
Some of my favorites dreams are my George Clooney dreams. Don't get excited people they aren't dirty dreams. I think I just like his sense of humor and he represents something light and fun in my dreams. My George Clooney dream just always are happy. I wake up in a good mood after them. I think they are just me thinking about enjoying life. Dreams are fantastic. They mean we are working on life’s issues in our sleep.
I once read a book where the author wrote something that for me was profound. Whether it was her original idea or something she read or something famous, I am not sure. Basicly, the protagonist in the book is warned against trusting dreamers, because they see the world as they would have it not as it really is. So, let's keep on dreaming , learning about our selves and our world, but keep ourselves grounded and realize that dreams can help us cope but not change the world. To change the world takes action not dreams. We can dream of a better tomorrow but have to make a plan to make it happen.
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