Today's topic, Makeup.  Now, I am finally getting to the core of my existence forget about anything else I say I believe in because makeup is really it. 

I love makeup.  In my family you had to be 12 years old to wear any kind of makeup.  12 is still young but that was the rule in our house.  You could play dress up and put on makeup but you wouldn't be wearing it in public.  Which takes me off topic slightly, to Toddler's in Tiaras or the horrific practice of sexualizing our children. I only see the promos for the show, I don't watch it, the promos are bad enough.  My sister in-law spoke to me about it and said that usually the moms were overweight and unattractive.  I feel that is partly true, one way or another the moms (or dads) are trying to feel good about themselves, get some validation, whatever through their children.  Excuse me, I have to go vomit.  OK, I am back.  Don't do this to your kids, honestly, it can't be healthy for them mentally or emotionally.

Now to more pleasant issues.  Makeup, I love it.  I love to wear it, I love to buy it, I love to look at it, I love to think about how I will put in on.  I always say if I were rich, I wouldn't have a big closet filled with clothes or lots of shoes, jewelry (although, I am not crazy, I would have some).  I would have a room dedicated to my makeup.  With great lighting, mirrors and enough room to put all the different kinds of makeup I want.

  I love eyeshadow, and lipstick the best.  Friends have been astounded at how many lipsticks I have for just work.  I have work lipstick and lipstick for home and abroad.  There is really no difference between them except work lipstick is kept in my work bag and home and abroad isn't, but they are interchangeable.  My eyeshadow collection is huge for one person. I have all kinds of shades some I never wear but can't make myself get rid of.  What if one day I needed that shade emergently, and then had to live with the knowledge of what could have been?

I find it ironic that as much as I love lipstick, I tend to buy the same shade a lot.  The shade is a mauve.  Sometimes a little darker or lighter but I am drawn to one in a store and say to myself you have this one in ten shades.  I usually do.  I like red and pink.  Occasionally, I will wear a coral shade but this is rare since I can't do oranges well.

When I was young I wore the ultra frosted eyeshadow they made in the 70s/80s.  You can still find it but why would you want to?  There is a difference in some shimmer and frosted, trust me!  I remember wearing  frosted peacock blue, and thinking I was HOT.  Remember, I said I love makeup, not that I have always been good with how I apply it.  I am better now at wearing colors to bring out the color of my eyes.  When I was young, my eyes were very blue.  They are still blue, but with more hazel now so I can my my eyes look bluer or greener depending on what shades I use.  Now that I am older I try to have more matte eyeshadow, I still have a bit of shimmer, but frosted eyeshadow makes you look older and I don't need that!

I will tell you the secrets to good makeup application.  Ready, here it is, right now for you.  No games, no tricks, no stalling....OK I was just being funny.  The first secret to good makeup is buy colors that work for your skin tone, in other words if you have a sallow skin tone don't go buying pink shades of foundation hoping to change things, you just wind up looking like your face is one color and the rest of you another which equals bad.  Second secret, blend, blend, blend.  Don't just slap the makeup on, blend it in so it flows from one thing to the next well.  Like your blush shouldn't stick out like to weird flags on your cheeks, it should just subtly be there and you shouldn't have a ring around your face delineating your foundation application.  Third, don't over do it.  Less is more.  OK, those who know me stop laughing,  I am talking about the people who come out looking like clowns.  Calm down, people, calm down.  Fourth,  and I can't stress this enough, please, under no circumstances should you over pluck your eyebrows.  You aren't making your eyes look bigger, you just look permanently surprised, or depending on your style, angry.  The fifth secret is to follow the brow line when shaping your brows.  If need be let things grow in and seek out professional help. Please!!

I was recently, on an elevator with some young women heading into work.  It had been raining and one was discussing with the other the accidents she had seen.  She had seen two.  I looked at her eyebrows and all I could think was, three.  That is right, I am going to hell, but at least my makeup will be on straight.  Or maybe my hell will be never wearing makeup again, or horrors, having to look at bad, bad makeup over and over again.  I need to repent!