Today's topic Breast feeding in public. Or as I like to call it feeding your baby when and where they are hungry.

I know there is a controversy over breast feeding in public.  I will be honest, if the kid is over a certain age, oh, I don't know, let's say one, then you probably don't need to feed in public.  I mean the kid can get plenty to eat without needing the breast.  Other than seeing an obviously well fed, capable of eating on their own kid at the breast in public what is the problem? 

I am really bothered that so many people object.  Who cares?  They are feeding their children not staging an orgy.  Honestly, put your big girl/boy pants on and get over it!

Some mom's choose to use a cover up, some let it all hang out. Again, let them. I am sorry if you have hang ups or are offended (if offended please see blog post regarding Whiny Babies).  Instead of worrying about what they are doing maybe you should worry about why it bothers you so.  If you are thinking something like because it is too private or too gross, I suggest you get some help for your problem. 

If the mom wants to feed I say let her, you don't have to look.  Just like you don't have to look at unattractive people in their swim suits or a show on TV.  No one is putting a gun to your head and insisting you witness a child taking their nutrition in the old fashioned way.  You can close your eyes and day dream, if you want, about a world where no one breast feeds in public. There are so many electronic mobile devices available, I won't believe you can't find something to do.  And frankly, if you are worried about being on a bus, plane or place of business and don't have an electronic device take a good book.  Maybe The Good Book, perhaps you will learn something like having compassion and tolerance.

If your kids ask what you consider awkward questions, ask yourself why you feel so awkward.  Then tell them that is how some mommies feed their babies.  That is all you have to do. 

Today's topic Was it Racial?  I don't know.  I see people all over, black, white talking about if it is racial.  Our President said if he had a son he would look like Trayvon.  I think he might.  Their bone structure is similar.  I don't know if it was racial.  My understanding is Zimmerman is mixed race.  That doesn't really matter though. 

It isn't easy for me to say I don't know.   I am not surprised at all the anger and even death threats toward Zimmerman. The Black Panther's have a 10,000 dollar reward for Zimmerman's capture.   I will take a page from a C L Bryant, a black pastor, who wrote an article about this, and ask where is the outrage about a six year old girl, who was killed in the cross fire between gang members in Chicago?  That didn't make the national news. The perception, whether right or wrong, that this was racially motivated gets more attention than a six year killed on her front steps. So, perhaps there is some racial motivation.  If  Zimmerman was black maybe this wouldn't have made the news either because we don't care enough, as a nation, about our black youth to report the stories.

I mean this in a good way.  In a broad sense, I don't care if it was racial.  To me that isn't the biggest issue.  The biggest issue to me is that a man felt he had the right to pursue a young kid, who was minding his own business.  There was no cause, the kid had done nothing but be there.  A guy decides he is above the law, goes against what the emergency dispatcher advises and a child is killed, murdered, in my opinion.  I don't care what color anyone one was.  This guy clearly had an agenda.  He is the captain of his neighbourhood watch, which rules he didn't follow.  He felt he had the right to scare the kid so badly that when confronted, in my opinion, the kid felt he had to fight for his life.  How sad, tragic and horrible that he was right and that he lost. 

There have been stories about both of these two.  Stories showing Trayvon being a kid.  So what if he Tweeted crap.  He was a teenager. I don't expect that he was perfect.  So, what if he was suspended.  He was the child, he was the victim.  He didn't make the choice to leave the safety of his home to chase after someone.  He just went to the convenience store to get Skittles.

There are stories of Zimmerman, calling 911 over 40 times, having racially diverse friends, a failed attempt at working in law enforcement. Some seem to think that if he called 911 so often and didn't have trouble in the past why now?  I don't care how many times he called with no reported problems.  It could it be he finally lost all faith in the police and decided to do something himself.  Or he was compensating for a deep feeling of inadequacy.

The question of race exist though and I understand.  Was Zimmerman motivated more by the color of Trayvon's skin than he would have been a Latino, or Caucasian.  I don't know.  I wish I did.  Then I could say "Yes, this is a hate crime!" or "No, the guy is just a vigilante."

 I don't know if I like the assumption that racial motivation somehow makes it worse.  How can the skin color make it worse?  Someone minding their own business, being stalked and feeling the need to fight for their life and then murdered isn't enough?  

I think the Florida law of Stand Your Ground doesn't apply here.  The guy left his ground to follow a kid.  He wouldn't have had to stand any ground at all if he kept his butt in the house or at most in his car following at a safe distance to ensure the kid didn't get into mischief.   He didn't see anything, he just felt the kid looked suspicious.  All the more reason to wait for the police. 

I am reminded that we don't have all the facts, that is true more facts may come out.  Unfortunately, only two people know what really happened, had all the facts and one of them is dead.  So, no matter how many facts come to light I don't know that we will ever know the truth.

Today's topic. Celebrities.  Oh, I love them.  I watch movies or TV shows because of them.  I admire them for bringing causes to the fore and working to make the world a better place.  I have met a few celebrities, it was very exciting.  I know how if feels to admire and recognize their work. 

So, that being said, celebrities amaze me.  They are so self congratulatory. There is an award show or tribute for something practically every day.  They wear fancy clothes and give fancy speeches about their work and what brought them to the role etc.  They accept statues and put their feet and hands into concrete while cameras flash all around them.  They smile and give autographs to their adoring public.

 But part of me can't believe all the hype. They can act, sing and dance. And I have had them leave me in tears over their emotive, touching performances.  But, at the end of the day, all they did was act, or sing, or dance.  They aren't actually the characters they portray.  They are just people, sometimes flawed, arrogant people, sometimes flawed, genuine people.  But just people.  

Despite all the awards and adulation, all they did was act, sing or dance.  They may have done their own stunts.  They may be physically fit and lovely to look at, and really nice people.   But they didn't  put out a fire, catch the bad guys, or actually save the world.  They just pretended to.
 
 Yet, we allow them tremendous influence in our lives. I see it and even participate in allowing their influence. How people dress, do their hair, and makeup is often taken directly from the celebrities we admire. That is fine as long as it isn't the extreme. Letting ones life be led by what a celebrity does is a little crazy. They shouldn't have more influence over you than your family or friends. 

I feel that is great for them to lend their celebrity to causes, feeding the poor, AIDS, Habitat for Humanity.  These are worthy causes and good for them for being willing to put a spot light on these and other worthy issues. 

But, I don't think they should tell us how to vote.  That is where I say shut up and sing.  Honestly, keep your politics to yourself.  There is a difference in helping with humanitarian causes, fighting for the down trodden and pushing their political views on us.  Their ability to perform in the arts doesn't mean that somehow they know what is best for our country, for goodness sakes.  So, to all you Hollywood types right or left, this political season will you please, just shut up and sing? 

Thank you ever so much for not annoying the crap out of me.

Today's topic Contraception. I have a few thoughts on the whole contraception debate going on now. As usual I will just say what ever I want. You can agree or not but I hope it makes you think.

First, contraception. Contraception is not wrong. Use which ever suits you best. There are many choices, the Pill, condoms, abstinence, IUDs, shots and more. You and your partner should decide which works best for you and when or if you want children. I do sometimes get amused/irritated depending on the situation when women, who have been telling their bodies for years and years to not conceive act surprised when they have trouble getting pregnant. I stand by contraception as absolutely fine, but don't be shocked if your body decides to do what you have been telling it over and over again.

I am finding it difficult to believe the out cry about our government trying to mandate what religious organizations have to offer their employees is so weak. If the employee wants different benefits get a job that offers them. What, jobs are scarce? I know. That makes it hard. I am sorry for that. Our country was founded by people escaping religious persecution. They came here in a time when most people didn't venture far from home. They faced starvation, deprivation and a hostile environment all because their desire for freedom meant so much to them that they were literally willing to die for it. So, forgive me if I don't want to hear you whine about getting your contraception for free.

I can't believe that more people aren't shouting in the streets, marching on Washington, calling their Congressmen and Senators demanding the government stay away from mandating people go against their conscience. If you choose to follow the dictates of your religion that says contraception is wrong no one should make you do any differently. NO ONE. We have been letting our government tell us what to do for so long they forgot they work for us, not the other way around.

Now, this whole Fluke thing. First, I have never been a Rush fan either the rock band or the talk show host. I also have a problem with liars, or at the very least disingenuous people. I don't fore see a time when BS is something I just accept. So, there won't be a fluke, or in this case Fluke.

As, many of you may have heard a Georgetown law student, with the last name of Fluke, went before Congress to discuss the difficulty of going to Georgetown and not having your contraception covered. See, I take issue with this. You sit in front of Congress and tell them you can't afford the 1,000 dollar a year cost of contraception. Who do you think you are BSing? How dumb am I supposed to be?

You are at Georgetown, not community college. I am 100% confident you can get a loan for 1000 a year if that is what you need to do. If you leave grad school owing an extra 1000 dollars a year you are coming out smelling like roses. Don't try to sell me some story about contraception being cost prohibitive, I won't buy it. No pun intended.

A thousand dollars a year for contraception? Do you use gold plated condoms? You can obtain condoms for free from Planned Parenthood and other entities. Not only that, I am willing to guess a lot of men carry them hoping for a chance. What kind of pills or diaphragm can you possibly have that would cost a thousand dollars? I am sorry, you will have to figure out a way to not get knocked up in grad school on your own.

Then to sit and act like you were somehow blindsided by the fact that your school didn't pay for your contraception when you have documented the fact that you were going there specifically to change the policy is smarmy. I wouldn't be as bothered by the Fluke if she had been forthright and said she chose Georgetown to change things. But, instead she went before Congress saying that she had found other women like her and she was grateful for the chance to speak for them. LIAR. Calling her a liar isn't as bad as what Rush called her, right? Oh, and in this case she is what she is being called. And she said there were women who used the pill for non contraceptive reasons being denied and they faced dire consequences. Really, dire? Oh, no my period is irregular! What will I do in this dire situation?

Rush is annoying to me. Don't get me started on how he irritates me or this will turn into something else altogether. He was wrong to call her a slut. He was wrong to wax profound, at least in his own mind, about what she did with 1.000 dollars a year in contraception. He should have called her disingenuous or a liar that would have been accurate. I am glad that he realized what a crud he had been and apologized. Whether he was sincere or not I don't know. I don't think he apologizes for his outrageous comments often, so I am surprised she refused his apology. I think that makes her look bad but then again she is already outed as a liar so how much worse could she look?

People, we cannot allow this. Our government shouldn't be mandating us to do things that violate our religious conscience. We shouldn't have self appointed advocates going to Congress to BS and waste the people's time.

Today's topic Plastic Surgery.  I have nothing against plastic surgery per se.  But see that our society has got a problem. Did you know that plastic surgeons make more than pediatricians?  We value our looks over our children.


I see that a new teen fad is to post I am Ugly images.  Children are increasingly getting plastic surgery to make themselves look better.  Or, so they think. I really worry about that. I just want to say to them, "Give yourself some time.  You may grow into your nose or chin.  Learn to embrace your self and your uniqueness. " I can't believe that parents are paying for it!  That validates the child's belief that they are ugly.  If you are paying to permanently change your child’s appearance you are telling them you agree and they aren't OK.


We need to calm down and slow our roll.  Feeling good on the outside is really linked to how we feel on the inside.  Feeling inadequate can make you do some crazy stuff.   Maybe instead of paying to change the outward appearance the money for plastic surgery could be paid to help the child gain confidence.  Sports, art, theater, charitable causes are all ways a child can focus and forget about their outward appearance.  Particularly, learning to take care of others less fortunate can really ground you and make you see more than yourself.


I think of Michael Jackson, I don't know what his personal demons were.  I just know that constantly trying to change his outward appearance was so he could feel good on the inside.  But it didn't help him with his self esteem or ability to love himself.  He kept changing his face and changed his skin color because of self loathing.  He was so incredibly talented and a good looking man.  I think of his ever changing looks and am still saddened by the gross caricature of himself he became.  He had it in his mind that somehow if he could change the outside he would be happy.  I don't think he ever was.


I see more and more people that are covered in tattoos.  I don't have a problem with tattoos either.  If you want them that is your business.  However, when you are covered from head to toe tells me you have issues.  I know there are those who will deny that and say it is just body art.  A tattoo here or there is body art.  Covering yourself says you are trying to cover your shame, doubt, inadequacies, ugly etc.  All that tells me is that you don't like yourself and are trying to fix whatever you feel is wrong.  No matter how many you get you don't feel better or be finished for long.


So, how can we help our children to feel good about themselves and see their worth?  I think it comes down to how we raise them.  We need to make sure they know their value as a person has nothing to do with the way they look.  We need to celebrate the things they do well.   Let them know how they can improve in a loving way.  You know how good it feels to accomplish something, a task you found difficult.  To know that they are able to do and to contribute will ground them and help them to see their inner beauty.  Then they won't feel like in order to be OK they have to look a certain way.

Today's topic High Fashion.  I like to think I know a little about what looks good on what shape and what colors look good on which coloring.  I am not perfect but love some aspects of fashion.

High Fashion.  I don't know much about it to be honest.  I just see pictures of hideous clothes, hair and weird makeup and hear it is high fashion.  I agree with that.  You have to be "high" to appreciate this fashion.  Have you seen some of the odd get ups they show? 

I feel like a bunch of weirdos rule the fashion industry and somehow we are to believe they know all.  Have you ever watched the Next Runway Model?  They have these men who do high fashion tell people what is what.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for men or women being leaders in any industry.  But, you come looking like a drunk, color blind clown dressed you and I am supposed to take you seriously?  One of the men, has hair that looks like Mo from The Three Stooges, and wears huge, cartoonish bow ties.  Another one of the men routinely looks like he took the top sheet off the bed and ta da, he is dressed and ready for action.  I can hardly pay any attention to him because I am so freaked out that he is not just in public looking crazy, but on national television. 

I also love to watch Fashion Police.  It is my dirty little secret.  But not so secret now, since I just blogged it.  They critique what celebrities are wearing.  I love the show.  But they will show something crazy and say "It's high fashion" like you would say about someone who just ain't right so make allowances.  They show celebs wearing hot, hot messes straight off the runway and I am supposed to be awed by them.  Yet another reason to just say no, no drugs, no being fooled by so called High Fashion.  

High Fashion reminds me of the story The Emperors New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen.  A couple of tailors convince the Emperor that they are making him clothes from the most fabulous fabric.  It cannot be seen by stupid people or people unfit for their position.  Of course, there is no cloth, no clothes, but no one will admit that there is a problem for fear of being seen as stupid or unfit.  The Emperor struts through town, naked, and everyone oohs and ahhs over his clothes.  Until a child cries out he isn't wearing anything.  Then others take up the cry, the Emperor realizes they are right but doesn't acknowledge them.  I guess he didn't want to them to see how he had been taken in.  So he continues to walk through a procession line, probably much like a runway, looking like a fool, for fear of looking like a fool.  Do you get the logic? 

I am not afraid of being seen as stupid or a fool.  Oh, if only I were.  So, I will just say that yes fashion evolves, taste change, people move on.  Good for us!  But crazy is crazy anyway you slice it.  Just because someone says something is good doesn't make it so.  No matter what their lofty postion in life or the fashion industry. 

Today's topic, Near Death Experiences.  That is right.  I have had two near death experiences.  I thought you might want to hear about them.  Because I know there are several of you home on a Saturday night thinking I wonder what Marian will blog next. 

My first NDE (near death experience) was as a child of about 4-5 years old.  I remember it was sunny outside, but I wasn't outside.  I was in my Great Grandmother's kitchen.  Granny Griffin was cooking and the women in the family were gathered either helping or talking.  I was curious about the goings on. 

My Granny Griffin was cooking okra.  Not frying it like so many people like their okra prepared but boiling it.  For those of you unfamiliar with okra it is SLIMY when boiled.  I, being the curious child that I was, asked to taste the okra.  Or my Granny offered it to me, I can't remember.  So, I innocently let my Granny Griffin put the okra in my mouth.  I chewed and tried to swallow the slimy, slimy okra.  But I couldn't swallow the okra, because it kept sliding down on its own and choking me.  I would cough/gag it up and try to get it right.  The okra didn't care which pipe it went down it just was going to do what gravity dictated and slide down.  I could not control the stuff, it just kept doing whatever it wanted.  Which was to choke the life out of me.  After what seemed like forever I was finally able to manage the okra and swallow. 

 I do not eat okra. I feel very peaceful about that.  I don't have to worry about it trying to kill me ever again.  To you this may not be the exact definition of a near death experience.  But you would agree if you had been in that kitchen having the life choked out of you by a green, slimy pod.

My second NDE happened at a concert.  I just want to make sure you all know I am not this cool.  I want you to think I am but, alack and alas, I am not.  I was given the opportunity to see the Ramons live at the age of 13.  One of my sisters best friends was that cool and she and my sister took me.  As a side note, I am excited to have seen such a ground breaking, influential band play.  The Ramons were one of the inventors, if you will, of the Punk Rock movement.  I also saw their movie Rock and Roll High School which I still remember pretty well.  But I digress.  

I remember it was dark outside, but I wasn't outside.  I was inside where, by the way it was stifling, I mean stifling hot.   It was winter in Idaho, (that is right, I went through puberty in Idaho) so I guess someone had the heat up. Or maybe that is how the Ramons wanted it.  I don't know.  Anyway, it was so hot in the room!  I remember there was this guy wearing a cardigan sweater.  I could not for the life of me figure out why he was in a cardigan because it was so HOT.  You get that it was hot, right? 

Because, Punk was on the fringe the actual concert was pretty small, I don't know maybe two hundred people?   Maybe?  Anyway the music started, it was standing only, no sitting.  I stood in front and there was a guy to left of me.  He kept jumping with his arms up and every time he came down he would hit my shoulder.  I was into the music at first, but then I realized that my shoulder hurt so I moved slightly away.  I think I did this a few times.  Each time he would move over and continue to pound into my shoulder.  Don't ask me why I didn't just move further away.  I was 13.  Finally, I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.  So he jumps up, arms in the air and I hit him, hard, in the ribs, twice before he gets back down.  I remember I actually heard his Ooof over the music.  A moment later I can tell he is turned toward me, moving, dancing, whatever while he looked at me.  I never looked at him again. 

The concert ends and I find out why the guy had on a cardigan, he had joints taped into the inside and was lighting them up and passing them around.  No, people, I didn't inhale. 

Oh, and I found out what the guy who kept hitting me was doing.  My sister, my dear, dear sister, asked me "Marian, what was that guy doing, the one dancing around you and waving a knife?" 

To this day I wonder if he would have stabbed me if I had looked at him.  But, I didn't.  My attitude was OK we are done here.  So, that is my second NDE.  Again, maybe not your definition but close enough, don't you think?