Today's topic Plastic Surgery.  I have nothing against plastic surgery per se.  But see that our society has got a problem. Did you know that plastic surgeons make more than pediatricians?  We value our looks over our children.


I see that a new teen fad is to post I am Ugly images.  Children are increasingly getting plastic surgery to make themselves look better.  Or, so they think. I really worry about that. I just want to say to them, "Give yourself some time.  You may grow into your nose or chin.  Learn to embrace your self and your uniqueness. " I can't believe that parents are paying for it!  That validates the child's belief that they are ugly.  If you are paying to permanently change your child’s appearance you are telling them you agree and they aren't OK.


We need to calm down and slow our roll.  Feeling good on the outside is really linked to how we feel on the inside.  Feeling inadequate can make you do some crazy stuff.   Maybe instead of paying to change the outward appearance the money for plastic surgery could be paid to help the child gain confidence.  Sports, art, theater, charitable causes are all ways a child can focus and forget about their outward appearance.  Particularly, learning to take care of others less fortunate can really ground you and make you see more than yourself.


I think of Michael Jackson, I don't know what his personal demons were.  I just know that constantly trying to change his outward appearance was so he could feel good on the inside.  But it didn't help him with his self esteem or ability to love himself.  He kept changing his face and changed his skin color because of self loathing.  He was so incredibly talented and a good looking man.  I think of his ever changing looks and am still saddened by the gross caricature of himself he became.  He had it in his mind that somehow if he could change the outside he would be happy.  I don't think he ever was.


I see more and more people that are covered in tattoos.  I don't have a problem with tattoos either.  If you want them that is your business.  However, when you are covered from head to toe tells me you have issues.  I know there are those who will deny that and say it is just body art.  A tattoo here or there is body art.  Covering yourself says you are trying to cover your shame, doubt, inadequacies, ugly etc.  All that tells me is that you don't like yourself and are trying to fix whatever you feel is wrong.  No matter how many you get you don't feel better or be finished for long.


So, how can we help our children to feel good about themselves and see their worth?  I think it comes down to how we raise them.  We need to make sure they know their value as a person has nothing to do with the way they look.  We need to celebrate the things they do well.   Let them know how they can improve in a loving way.  You know how good it feels to accomplish something, a task you found difficult.  To know that they are able to do and to contribute will ground them and help them to see their inner beauty.  Then they won't feel like in order to be OK they have to look a certain way.