Today's topic Mom's. The media has had quite a bit of coverage of mom's lately. I am not writing this in defense of Anne Romney but am interested in how we treat stay at home mom's. Her situation has just brought my thoughts on the subject to the front of my mind.

So, first what has the women's movement really done for us. Stop, before you get all freaked out, I have deep and abiding feelings of gratitude toward all those women who suffered for suffrage. Those who stood up and gave us a voice. My thanks are innumerable. Knowing that I can be a single woman, live in my own house, drive my own car and travel on my own is owed to them. What I take for granted in my life wasn't possible for so many of those great women who had to have a man oversee their lives. I get it and am so grateful.

I feel that the pendulum has swung a little too far. We were promised we could have "it all". I don't see that much. What I see most is women are now expected, I said expected, to work, keep the house, cook and see to the children. The women's movement has taken a toll on us as women, particularly mother's. Suddenly, we are fighting each other. Some have called it a "faux war". I don't think there is anything false about it. There is an underlying disdain for stay at home moms. It has been stated that they don't know what it is like in the real world because they don't work outside the home. The role as mother is somehow less than CEO, lawyer, doctor, waitress, teacher, secretary, bank teller etc. It is assumed that you know less because of what you do. Right, because all you do is sit around and do nothing all day. You don't run a home, have a budget, manage time, have friends, carry out charitable acts or leave your house. You stay at home all day waiting for your husband to come home and tell you what to do next.

Some mom's don't have a choice but to work, if there is going to be food on the table and a roof over head they have to provide for it. They have to work. Some mom's choose to work because they want to. That is fine with me. However, I have had more friends, acquaintances complain that their husbands won't let them quit work than won't let them go to work. Some families would be fine with one of the parents staying home, you will note that I don't say it has to be mom. You may just have less, less of a house, less of a car, less of a vacation etc. I don't mean that you can't have nice or decent just maybe not as fancy.

I had the opportunity as a young woman to be a nanny for about 2 years. I truly loved the children I cared for. I took good care of them and was conscientious of the parent's wishes for their little ones. Being a nanny believe it or not is what made realize that I would be a stay at home mom. Those kids loved me, I saw first steps, new words, wonder with the world. I loved being part of that. But, I also recognized, clearly, that I didn't want someone else there for my children's first. That is why I have always said that when or if I married and had a family I was staying at home, and if we ate dirt every day then so be it. After 20 years of fulfilling work knowing how rewarding it has been and what I have been able to personally do for others I would give it all up now if I had a family. I won't lie and say with no regrets, I have loved the work, but I feel that the greatest work is in the home.

I think we get confused about what is important. I had a friend once who told me her husband said she was too smart to stay at home. I was a little surprised, too smart to stay at home. I didn't care if she worked but took exception to "too smart to stay at home". I think this is a crazy way to think. Again, work if you want to work. But don't fool yourself that it is because you are too smart. We had a very polite exchange, but I couldn't help but ask if she didn't want someone smart raising her children.

With a few exceptions, child care is at best high school graduates, maybe with some higher education worked in some of the workers, working in a daycare center or even in their or your home. These people aren't invested in your family, they are invested in a paycheck. That doesn't mean they wouldn't have true liking or even love for your child/ren but it isn't the same.

The disdain for stay at home mom's continues to stun me.  Particularly when it is strongly hinted that they don't contribute to society. What? What are you saying you crazy loons? The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. There is a reason for that old chestnut. Raising or at least trying to raise up strong, smart children ready to take on the world is the best use of our time and resources. Children really are the future. Give me something that trumps that. There is no award, degree, or discovery that outweighs loving attention to the next generation.