Today's topic, Words. You may have figured that I love to talk. Whether writing or actually speaking I enjoy expressing myself. And what do I use? Words. I don't have the largest vocabulary but I feel it is varied enough. I seem to get by and make myself understood.
My sister and I have a couple of word games we play. One (won) is words that sound alike but (butt) are spelled differently like pare and pear or metal and mettle. We (wee) go back and forth texting each other word pairs (pear, pare) and of course (coarse) trying to (two, too) out do (dew, due) each other. It is a fun to think about words while (wile) I (eye, aye) am reading. I will sometimes examine all (awl) the words and try to see (sea) if there (their they're) is one I can find a sound alike for (fore,four). Sometimes this is easy and others not (knot) so (sew) much. But, you (ewe) get my drift I am sure.
Another game we play is words spelled the same but pronounced differently depending on the context. Like a bow in your hair or taking a bow. There are a lot of these. We tend to fight over one word. I see it in the same light as read as in read (red) a book and read (reed) as in read the sign. Live as in I live in the US or live as in the show is live. To me it is the same meaning different tense. But she says no and has some support. Yes, we have discussed this with other people. And, yes, I know what this means, we are truly geeks. (I just thought of one for our other game, what and watt, I don't think we have used that before) Anyway, these are harmless mental exercises that hopefully keep us sharp. That is the dream.
Unfortunately, I can be sometimes unthinking when I speak. Is anyone shocked? Something that I do is combine words. I was talking about getting some fun magnets for work to put up on a wall we have that is magnetized. Without thinking I combined the word fun and the word magnets. Fagments, came out of my mouth. The sad part is a gay friend was present when I said fagments. His head whipped around and I realized that he had been called that word and was attuned to it and what it means. You know the one. The other sad part is I don't think to use that word ever. I am kind of strange that way. If I don't like you or want to insult you then I find something in your character or behavior to insult. I don't think in terms of racial slurs or who you are slurs, unless you are a jerk. But if you are a jerk I have never and I mean never thought, "Oh, that asinine (insert racial or other slur)." I will admit as a teen trying to add stuff like that in but it just never felt right. I will identify your sex like that "asinine man or woman". Political correctness has nothing to do with this. If I don't like you I have reasons that have nothing to do with your skin color or sexual orientation etc. You can try to blame it on something like that. Wouldn't that be nice for all of us and be a huge out. Oh, she doesn't like me cause I am what ever. You wish.
Recently, I word combined with a better result. I posted this on FB but will relive the moment in my blog. My sister and I were discussing Bambi. She talked about how he starts off this kind of wimpy kid who grows up to be something of a bad a**. He takes a bullet and keeps going, that is awesome. But she lamented that his name was still Bambi. I suggested it should be Bambo. Clever? I know.
We often hear the pen is mightier than the sword. This is from a play titled Richelieu; The Conspiracy, by Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (yes that is his name). I would have attributed this to Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Payne or some such. But thanks to the Internet I know to whom the credit goes. We are also told actions speak louder than words. This little homily is attributed in different but similar forms to several but was used in a speech by Abraham Lincoln and so I am going to give him some credit. Again, thank you Internet. So, here we have two opposing views, the pen is mightier than the sword and actions speak louder than words. I find both to be true.
The written word has toppled governments, look Watergate. There was no civil war, no blood shed to speak of. Yet the rippling effect is still there. There have been many "gates" since the infamous Watergate but none really like the first.
Then you have all the people we are surrounded by that tell us how we should live, what we should do but there actions don't quite match their rhetoric. They seem to know what is best for all of us but feel they are exempt. I could wax profound with political examples of this from either side of the aisle for hours. But, I won't. This isn't about politicians. I will give a true example from my own life. Not a personal one, Holy Cow, I don't want to be that introspective right now! I was on the road and saw a Suburban, you know the biggest SUV you can buy with a bumper sticker reading "Vote Environmental ". Now, part of my believes the owner had a sense of humor, but another part of me has seen hypocrisy so often I kind of think it was serious. I didn't speak with them so will never really know.
I will continue on in my love of words, I will never be a true logophile but will do my version of it as long as I can think. Which, honestly, as I get older is less and less. Bummer.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Today's topic My Odyssey. Almost without meaning to I participated in an Odyssey. The definition of an odyssey is a long series of wanderings or adventures, especially when filled with notable experiences, hardships etc. Any long eventful journey can be defined as an odyssey. My adventure had been eventful, filled with sorrow and joy. Though the actual trip in miles hasn't been far the richness of the experiences have seemed to be worth thousands of miles.
I have often referred to my career, but for the purpose of this blog post will make it very clear what I do. I have been a registered nurse for just over 20 years. In those 20 years I have seen life and death over and over. I know many dead people. That is blunt, but so true. I have seen people lose their battle with death. I have also had the opportunity to see people triumph over death. It is always a spiritual moment for me. In a way I can't really articulate fully death can also be a spiritual moment. To aide a family in saying good bye or giving permission for a loved one to go is a privilege and should be held in some reverence.
The "people" I work with are children. I see them win or lose their battles, usually with cancer, but not always. Hearts, kidneys, lungs, brains all can betray their purpose and end a life before it has really begun. Often when I tell people I am a pediatric nurse with a sub specialty in hematology/oncology they are impressed in some way or another. I am grateful to make an impact. I am so grateful to be able to affect people and their perceptions of life and death and what it means to the children and their families.
I wasn't one of the idealistic nurses who wanted to change the world. I over the years I have worked with some and they are so dedicated and willing to sacrifice. They build loving relationships with those they serve and make great efforts to ease suffering here and abroad. These are exceptional people, people with visions of a better world. I can only stand in awe of their willingness to go beyond themselves. They set a tremendous example and leave a lasting impression on those they meet and those they serve.
I just want to make a difference in the moment. I don't know that I aspire to change the world but I admire and sometimes have a slight envy for those who do. I just want to make things better if I can here and now. My plan, whether I fail or succeed, every shift I work is to do something worthwhile for those I have been assigned to. Don't think too much of me, I piss and moan and think, please don't assign me this or that patient or disease process. I gripe and complain to my co-workers. I am far from perfect. That aside, my goal is to treat everyone like they are important to me personally, I want them to know I will go the extra mile for them. I do that as often as I possibly can.
I try to do this without getting too close emotionally. This is tricky, tricky. I love the ones I serve even when I don't like them so well. I can't describe to you all the adorable things children say and do. I wish I could open my mind, literally, so you could peer in and see all my memories of children sick some sick enough to die. The are so resilient. I think it is because they don't know any other way to be. They don't know that not every child goes to the hospital to be poked, prodded, woken at odd hours and have no privacy. So, they just do it.
To many of them I am a wanderer, someone they meet in passing. The hope being they will get better and I won't see them again. I use that as a bit of humor when I discharge patients that are just there for something that probably won't bring them back. I say " I hope I don't see you again" I always say it in context and in a way the child and their parents know it's a joke. It has always been taken well. We even move on to "well maybe if we run into each other in the mall".
A few years ago I was in a restaurant close to the hospital and while there I saw one of our patients with his parents. I spoke briefly to the dad and said something like "do you remember me?". I hadn't taken care of them often but had seen them come in for treatment. The dad said something I didn't see coming or expect or even remember. He said "Of course I remember you, you saved my son's life!" I had forgotten, can you believe that? I had forgotten that I saw a deadly situation and intervened quickly. As I write this, I am reviewing again in my minds eye the event. I did something that parent saw as life saving. I knew the situation was serious and needed immediate action and I took the appropriate steps. I just didn't see the impact on how I would be seen. I would love to take credit and stand with chest thrust out, hands on my hips and say with a mixture of cockiness and humility, "Why, yes, I did!!" The reality is just as I described, I identified a problem and intervened. Maybe that's why I didn't remember immediately what had happened.
It's funny my odyssey has taught me about people about the world and about myself. I have learned that I am not as good or as bad as I sometimes see myself. I hope that you in your travels through life get some of the same joys, that you get to learn about yourself and what you can do. More I hope at those times when you are feeling down that you will have a chance to see yourself as others see you. What they see and what you think they see may wind up being so, so different.
I have often referred to my career, but for the purpose of this blog post will make it very clear what I do. I have been a registered nurse for just over 20 years. In those 20 years I have seen life and death over and over. I know many dead people. That is blunt, but so true. I have seen people lose their battle with death. I have also had the opportunity to see people triumph over death. It is always a spiritual moment for me. In a way I can't really articulate fully death can also be a spiritual moment. To aide a family in saying good bye or giving permission for a loved one to go is a privilege and should be held in some reverence.
The "people" I work with are children. I see them win or lose their battles, usually with cancer, but not always. Hearts, kidneys, lungs, brains all can betray their purpose and end a life before it has really begun. Often when I tell people I am a pediatric nurse with a sub specialty in hematology/oncology they are impressed in some way or another. I am grateful to make an impact. I am so grateful to be able to affect people and their perceptions of life and death and what it means to the children and their families.
I wasn't one of the idealistic nurses who wanted to change the world. I over the years I have worked with some and they are so dedicated and willing to sacrifice. They build loving relationships with those they serve and make great efforts to ease suffering here and abroad. These are exceptional people, people with visions of a better world. I can only stand in awe of their willingness to go beyond themselves. They set a tremendous example and leave a lasting impression on those they meet and those they serve.
I just want to make a difference in the moment. I don't know that I aspire to change the world but I admire and sometimes have a slight envy for those who do. I just want to make things better if I can here and now. My plan, whether I fail or succeed, every shift I work is to do something worthwhile for those I have been assigned to. Don't think too much of me, I piss and moan and think, please don't assign me this or that patient or disease process. I gripe and complain to my co-workers. I am far from perfect. That aside, my goal is to treat everyone like they are important to me personally, I want them to know I will go the extra mile for them. I do that as often as I possibly can.
I try to do this without getting too close emotionally. This is tricky, tricky. I love the ones I serve even when I don't like them so well. I can't describe to you all the adorable things children say and do. I wish I could open my mind, literally, so you could peer in and see all my memories of children sick some sick enough to die. The are so resilient. I think it is because they don't know any other way to be. They don't know that not every child goes to the hospital to be poked, prodded, woken at odd hours and have no privacy. So, they just do it.
To many of them I am a wanderer, someone they meet in passing. The hope being they will get better and I won't see them again. I use that as a bit of humor when I discharge patients that are just there for something that probably won't bring them back. I say " I hope I don't see you again" I always say it in context and in a way the child and their parents know it's a joke. It has always been taken well. We even move on to "well maybe if we run into each other in the mall".
A few years ago I was in a restaurant close to the hospital and while there I saw one of our patients with his parents. I spoke briefly to the dad and said something like "do you remember me?". I hadn't taken care of them often but had seen them come in for treatment. The dad said something I didn't see coming or expect or even remember. He said "Of course I remember you, you saved my son's life!" I had forgotten, can you believe that? I had forgotten that I saw a deadly situation and intervened quickly. As I write this, I am reviewing again in my minds eye the event. I did something that parent saw as life saving. I knew the situation was serious and needed immediate action and I took the appropriate steps. I just didn't see the impact on how I would be seen. I would love to take credit and stand with chest thrust out, hands on my hips and say with a mixture of cockiness and humility, "Why, yes, I did!!" The reality is just as I described, I identified a problem and intervened. Maybe that's why I didn't remember immediately what had happened.
It's funny my odyssey has taught me about people about the world and about myself. I have learned that I am not as good or as bad as I sometimes see myself. I hope that you in your travels through life get some of the same joys, that you get to learn about yourself and what you can do. More I hope at those times when you are feeling down that you will have a chance to see yourself as others see you. What they see and what you think they see may wind up being so, so different.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Today's topic, Death. I have been thinking about death this month. There are so many thoughts and ideas swirling through my head right now. I don't know if I can capture everything and express it in any meaningful way. But, I am going to try.
A few of people I know are facing death right now. Because a couple of them are patients of mine I cannot speak in any detail about their experiences. Just know that they are young, but old enough to know what death is. My Grandfather, who I am named for, is also staring death in the face. A friend just asked me what Mormons believe happens when we die. Lastly, my sister died a couple of years ago around this time. All these things combined have really got this morbid topic upper most in my mind.
Where to begin? First my thoughts about death. My religious beliefs have really shaped how I see death. I have always believed that we existed as spirits before we came to earth. We were created by our Father in Heaven. We come to earth to gain a body and to be tested, or if you prefer to learn. When our time here is done, our spirits and bodies are separated. Our body buried and our spirits return to Heaven, where depending on our choices we are sent to either spirit prison or paradise. Once the Savior, Jesus Christ, comes back to earth, the resurrection will begin. Everyone, regardless of belief in God, good or bad behavior will be resurrected. After we have been resurrected, meaning our bodies and spirits are reunited in a perfected body, we will be judged according to our actions, our faithfulness and then sent to a degree of glory depending on how worthy or unworthy we have been. Trust that this is a quick, incomplete nutshell of my beliefs about the life and death process.
Because, I have deep faith that there is a God in the Heavens, a reason to be here and know what happens after death I don't think death is the worse thing that could happen. That doesn't mean I like it or that I don't get sad when people die. However, I have a great sense of peace about death not being the end. I have long ago accepted that families can be together forever. There is a reason we often refer to God as our Heavenly Father, the Father or Father in Heaven. We live in family groups here because that is the order of things. It makes no sense to me to love so deeply and be so committed to our families only to be separated by death never to see each other again. We will live with our families in the next life.
At the moment of death our loved ones who have passed, for lack of a better phrase, come to pick us up. We often hear of people near death talking to or about people that have passed as if they were in the room. I submit that they are. Just because we don't see them doesn't mean that they aren't present and even communicating with the one dying.
My sister Dee's death is something I haven't really written about. I talk about it openly, I don't try to clean it up or make it sound less harsh, I just say she committed suicide. When it first happened two years ago, needless to say it was devastating. We, as a family, sat around a waiting room in a hospital for what seemed like weeks but was really just a few days. We sat, paced, cried and prayed while we waited to find out if there was any hope for her to live. I remember the first time I tried to sleep after I visited her in the hospital, I just lay awake for hours, with the thought, my sister is dead, running around and around in my mind like a broken record, over and over again. Being a nurse I knew she was gone, being a woman of faith, I also knew that if it was the Lord's will she could recover completely.
To take care of myself through this I have chosen what some may consider a selfish course. But, I don't care. I didn't know if I would survive intact if I didn't make my own way. So, I talk about her suicide when I want, to whomever I want and say what I want to say about it. I don't care if others are comfortable with the topic or not or what they want to know, I just say whatever. That being said I am not crazy, I don't feel like it is for me to discuss this with my patients or their families, nor do I go around harassing strangers with tales of my sister's suicide.
Oh, and one more thing, do me a favor and don't kill yourself. Please, suicide, as my Aunt Bonnie said so succinctly, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If someone reading this and is thinking about hurting themselves, Stop! There is help and there is a way out. I don't have all the answers, despite the rumors to the contrary. But I know personally how absolutely painful and senseless it is to see someone decide to end it all. I know, personally, how devastating it is to lose someone in such a useless way. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what my family and I have gone through.
I think that death is a part of our cycle of existence. In some ways it could be celebrated. Not like having a party with balloons and a banner saying "So and So is dead, let's paint the town red." But with solemnity, recognizing that someone has finished their course, they fought the good fight and done what the Lord sent them here to do. They are free from pain and sorrow and have returned home to be with their Father in Heaven, their Savior Jesus Christ and the family that have gone on before. How can that be anything but a reason to rejoice?
Yet, it is so very hard in the moment. When we realize that they are not here with us, we can't just pick up the phone and call, we won't see them again until we die can be overwhelming. When we see the injustice of time cut short through circumstances that seem so unfair, it is difficult to understand why. I can see how hard it would be for someone who doesn't have any confidence that this is not the end to find peace or to make sense of death. How very painful it must be to face death of a loved one with no knowledge of what comes next.
Death is part of life, we start dying the moment we are born or so they say. If that is true then let's make every day a day to relish and enjoy. Let's make the most of our time. Do something worth while, something that no matter when you go, you will know you made the world a little better even if you are the only one who knows it.
A few of people I know are facing death right now. Because a couple of them are patients of mine I cannot speak in any detail about their experiences. Just know that they are young, but old enough to know what death is. My Grandfather, who I am named for, is also staring death in the face. A friend just asked me what Mormons believe happens when we die. Lastly, my sister died a couple of years ago around this time. All these things combined have really got this morbid topic upper most in my mind.
Where to begin? First my thoughts about death. My religious beliefs have really shaped how I see death. I have always believed that we existed as spirits before we came to earth. We were created by our Father in Heaven. We come to earth to gain a body and to be tested, or if you prefer to learn. When our time here is done, our spirits and bodies are separated. Our body buried and our spirits return to Heaven, where depending on our choices we are sent to either spirit prison or paradise. Once the Savior, Jesus Christ, comes back to earth, the resurrection will begin. Everyone, regardless of belief in God, good or bad behavior will be resurrected. After we have been resurrected, meaning our bodies and spirits are reunited in a perfected body, we will be judged according to our actions, our faithfulness and then sent to a degree of glory depending on how worthy or unworthy we have been. Trust that this is a quick, incomplete nutshell of my beliefs about the life and death process.
Because, I have deep faith that there is a God in the Heavens, a reason to be here and know what happens after death I don't think death is the worse thing that could happen. That doesn't mean I like it or that I don't get sad when people die. However, I have a great sense of peace about death not being the end. I have long ago accepted that families can be together forever. There is a reason we often refer to God as our Heavenly Father, the Father or Father in Heaven. We live in family groups here because that is the order of things. It makes no sense to me to love so deeply and be so committed to our families only to be separated by death never to see each other again. We will live with our families in the next life.
At the moment of death our loved ones who have passed, for lack of a better phrase, come to pick us up. We often hear of people near death talking to or about people that have passed as if they were in the room. I submit that they are. Just because we don't see them doesn't mean that they aren't present and even communicating with the one dying.
My sister Dee's death is something I haven't really written about. I talk about it openly, I don't try to clean it up or make it sound less harsh, I just say she committed suicide. When it first happened two years ago, needless to say it was devastating. We, as a family, sat around a waiting room in a hospital for what seemed like weeks but was really just a few days. We sat, paced, cried and prayed while we waited to find out if there was any hope for her to live. I remember the first time I tried to sleep after I visited her in the hospital, I just lay awake for hours, with the thought, my sister is dead, running around and around in my mind like a broken record, over and over again. Being a nurse I knew she was gone, being a woman of faith, I also knew that if it was the Lord's will she could recover completely.
To take care of myself through this I have chosen what some may consider a selfish course. But, I don't care. I didn't know if I would survive intact if I didn't make my own way. So, I talk about her suicide when I want, to whomever I want and say what I want to say about it. I don't care if others are comfortable with the topic or not or what they want to know, I just say whatever. That being said I am not crazy, I don't feel like it is for me to discuss this with my patients or their families, nor do I go around harassing strangers with tales of my sister's suicide.
Oh, and one more thing, do me a favor and don't kill yourself. Please, suicide, as my Aunt Bonnie said so succinctly, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If someone reading this and is thinking about hurting themselves, Stop! There is help and there is a way out. I don't have all the answers, despite the rumors to the contrary. But I know personally how absolutely painful and senseless it is to see someone decide to end it all. I know, personally, how devastating it is to lose someone in such a useless way. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through what my family and I have gone through.
I think that death is a part of our cycle of existence. In some ways it could be celebrated. Not like having a party with balloons and a banner saying "So and So is dead, let's paint the town red." But with solemnity, recognizing that someone has finished their course, they fought the good fight and done what the Lord sent them here to do. They are free from pain and sorrow and have returned home to be with their Father in Heaven, their Savior Jesus Christ and the family that have gone on before. How can that be anything but a reason to rejoice?
Yet, it is so very hard in the moment. When we realize that they are not here with us, we can't just pick up the phone and call, we won't see them again until we die can be overwhelming. When we see the injustice of time cut short through circumstances that seem so unfair, it is difficult to understand why. I can see how hard it would be for someone who doesn't have any confidence that this is not the end to find peace or to make sense of death. How very painful it must be to face death of a loved one with no knowledge of what comes next.
Death is part of life, we start dying the moment we are born or so they say. If that is true then let's make every day a day to relish and enjoy. Let's make the most of our time. Do something worth while, something that no matter when you go, you will know you made the world a little better even if you are the only one who knows it.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Today's topic How dumb am I supposed to be? OK, I have been trying so hard to keep my cool about our present political environment but I just can't take it anymore.
My concerns today are thus:
1. Taxing the rich. I don't want to defend rich people. I want to defend myself. Every time taxes are raised on the so called rich, I pay. I get a smaller raise, if any, pay more for goods and services while getting less product. Or to save money companies lay off or fire employees which means I have to do more in my community with fewer resources. The government takes taxes and spend as they see fit. They seem to think they know better how to spend my money. Like 800,000 on a conference and more recently 6,000,000. I hear people say that these are a drop in the bucket when compared to what we really spend as a nation. Maybe they are a "drop in the bucket" but drop by drop the bucket is filled. Frankly, we are talking almost 7,000,000 dollars and you can't convince me that that is so little it barely matters. Let me tell you, if I had 7,000,000 dollars of other peoples money to spend with impunity I could do some serious good for the community. I could put kids in college, send them to learn about other cultures, pay for their medicines. The list of the good that could be done with no one putting their hand in the pot can be as broad as our country.
2. Our President not doing his job. I know it is time to run for re-election and he wants to win. I wish someone would tell him something that helps you win is actually being presidential. You know doing things like defending our country. We have been attacked in 27 countries starting on the anniversary of 9/11 and he wants me to believe it was because of a video that was out since June. Right. Oh, and requests from our now dead ambassador for more security were denied. I am supposed to believe that our President is so genius and so awesome that he can think rings around me and yet he can't put this together. The same President that jumped to conclusions regarding several situations suddenly wants to wait and gather facts. To this day there has been no securing of our embassy, no investigation, no facts. I am supposed to believe he doesn't have time to talk with anyone be they foe or ally at the recent UN conference but he does have time to appear on the View. He can talk to our allies on the phone. He can skip intelligence briefings. He can fly here and there campaigning and still run the country. Because he is so awesome. Yet, it seems like things are falling apart. I feel like he is either stupid, or a closet drunk. Maybe both.
3. I am so tired, because I am a conservative, of being labeled a racist, homophobic, ignorant, and greedy. I am none of these things. I just understand that I am responsible for my own self and after I make sure I have my crap together, I need to help others with theirs. I am tired of hearing if I don't support everything a certain group is for I hate them. I am not allowed a different opinion or thoughts on a topic, if I am not spewing the party line then I am a hater. I don't care if you are a person of color or gay. I will like your or dislike you according to how you act, you know the content of your character matters to me.
4. Somehow it is wrong of me to want to keep the money I earn. I work hard, I earn my pay and I should be able to decide how to lift up my fellow citizens in need. Every time, I hear some politician talk about some government program as free, I want to scream. Nothing is free, it is coming out of someones bank account. Mine, yours, ours. Our government thinks they know better how to use our money. It is like the inmates are running the asylum. That makes me crazy. There are some many politicians with their faces in the feeding trough, glutting themselves off our hard work while those in need go without and the conservatives are blamed. They really do like to keep people dependent, if the dependents were actually able to lift themselves up they wouldn't need these greedy parasites who say they are helping while pushing down the down trodden. If people really understood how insidious and pervasive the system of dependency was they would be so outraged we would vote them all out and start over.
Well, I think I got most of what I wanted off my chest. At least, I feel better. You may or may not agree with me. I just wanted to state some things as I see them. I will end by saying that no actual politians were harmed in the typing of this blog.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Today's topic, Traveling. I have traveled more than some, less than others. I driven coast to coast, up and down this great country and love to see the differences and the sameness we have to offer.
First, let me talk about how some drivers need to get places so quickly. I, too, want to get places quickly. I really do. I have what some refer to as a lead foot. I feel that I am a good driver, definitely a good driver. But, I am not crazy. I may be a good driver, but I cannot depend on the drivers around me to be the same. I am amazed at how more, for lack of a better word, bold drivers seem to think that everyone drives at their level. The get so close, and weave around the other cars on the road assuming that the other drivers won't make a decision that could cause a horrific wreck. You will note that I don't use the word accident. It would be no accident. One tap on the brakes, or foot off the accelerator or deciding to move from one lane to the next would end in disaster. Yet, the bold drivers seem to think they know what they are doing. I would agree with that, they know what they are doing. Unfortunately, they don't know what anyone else is doing. Maybe that slower moving car has an inexperienced driver, or a driver concerned with answering their phone, quieting the kids, changing the channel on the radio, looking over the scenery, etc. There are so many variables that are uncontrolled. Maybe, it gives the bold driver a thrill to take the risk of not knowing what the other driver may or may not do or react. Or maybe, the bold driver is an idiot. I will go with the idiot idea. And it is the same in any state or region the sameness of idiots is apparent.
Secondly, let us talk about how beautiful our country is, even in it's differences. The skylines of large cities, compared with the rolling spaces of rural areas. Both have so much to offer. In my opinion the large cities have nonstop action. There is something seductive about the go, go, go mentality. Always something to do, somewhere to go, some fun to be had and it doesn't end, ever.
Then, you have the wide open spaces offered by less developed areas. The trees, rolling hills, gurgling streams that call to us in a different way. Yet, they can be equally seductive. The pull of peaceful, beautiful spaces filled with fresh air and sunshine calls to us too.
I find that I like the offerings of big cities and rural communities. I guess that is why I see my self as a suburbanite. I like the quiet of rural areas, but want access to the action of a city. What to do? Live in suburbia.
I digress, back to traveling. I love to take driving trips, I love to see the beauty offered around the county myself. I love to learn about what is common here or there. For instance, I was surprised that my mom had never had a cannoli. Then, I thought about it. She is from the South, where you are more likely to eat banana pudding. I wonder how many routine cannoli eaters have never had banana pudding?
Sometimes, I forget that even though we are all Americans and all live in the greatest nation the world has ever seen, we are so different regionally. Sorry, that so many of my analogies are food related but it is an easy way to point out how we are different. Barbecue, Carolina barbecue, in my opinion, is the best barbecue you can eat. You look a state or two over and they are eating a completely different kind. It is made with beef, not port, sweet, not savory.
Tea, I don't even drink tea, but am very aware of how stunned people from the North are when they come to the South and get iced tea with their meal. They aren't prepared for the sweet tea that is served. I guess that Southerners are also shocked when they get tea, plain unsweetened tea with their meal in the North. I thankfully, don't have to worry about that. I am drinking water or soda. Of, course depending where you are the water can be a real issue too.
I have driven through some small towns and large cities. I remember a trip through small towns in Michigan. Population less than 3000. It seemed the sidewalks were rolled up at 6pm, the grocery stores closed, every thing would be closed and all good people in their homes with the blinds, you guessed it, closed. I had never seen anything like it. Then, of course I have done driving though big cities with their narrow streets, never ending traffic and scarce parking. I was able to participate in moving day in Boston. Moving truck after moving truck, up and down all the narrow streets, with all the students from all the colleges trying to move from one place to the next all on the same weekend. I have never seen anything like that either. It is such an event, the year I was there, a documentary was being made to record the phenomenon.
Something I have found is that it doesn't matter where you are, there are lovely, kind people all over. They want to help and care about you. Big city, small town, people are people. Kind, loving, flawed. Sure there are some bad people out there. But there are more of the good ones. The ones who will go out of their way to help someone in need. How grateful I am, since I seem to get lost so easily and wind up depending on the kindness of strangers more than my fair share.
First, let me talk about how some drivers need to get places so quickly. I, too, want to get places quickly. I really do. I have what some refer to as a lead foot. I feel that I am a good driver, definitely a good driver. But, I am not crazy. I may be a good driver, but I cannot depend on the drivers around me to be the same. I am amazed at how more, for lack of a better word, bold drivers seem to think that everyone drives at their level. The get so close, and weave around the other cars on the road assuming that the other drivers won't make a decision that could cause a horrific wreck. You will note that I don't use the word accident. It would be no accident. One tap on the brakes, or foot off the accelerator or deciding to move from one lane to the next would end in disaster. Yet, the bold drivers seem to think they know what they are doing. I would agree with that, they know what they are doing. Unfortunately, they don't know what anyone else is doing. Maybe that slower moving car has an inexperienced driver, or a driver concerned with answering their phone, quieting the kids, changing the channel on the radio, looking over the scenery, etc. There are so many variables that are uncontrolled. Maybe, it gives the bold driver a thrill to take the risk of not knowing what the other driver may or may not do or react. Or maybe, the bold driver is an idiot. I will go with the idiot idea. And it is the same in any state or region the sameness of idiots is apparent.
Secondly, let us talk about how beautiful our country is, even in it's differences. The skylines of large cities, compared with the rolling spaces of rural areas. Both have so much to offer. In my opinion the large cities have nonstop action. There is something seductive about the go, go, go mentality. Always something to do, somewhere to go, some fun to be had and it doesn't end, ever.
Then, you have the wide open spaces offered by less developed areas. The trees, rolling hills, gurgling streams that call to us in a different way. Yet, they can be equally seductive. The pull of peaceful, beautiful spaces filled with fresh air and sunshine calls to us too.
I find that I like the offerings of big cities and rural communities. I guess that is why I see my self as a suburbanite. I like the quiet of rural areas, but want access to the action of a city. What to do? Live in suburbia.
I digress, back to traveling. I love to take driving trips, I love to see the beauty offered around the county myself. I love to learn about what is common here or there. For instance, I was surprised that my mom had never had a cannoli. Then, I thought about it. She is from the South, where you are more likely to eat banana pudding. I wonder how many routine cannoli eaters have never had banana pudding?
Sometimes, I forget that even though we are all Americans and all live in the greatest nation the world has ever seen, we are so different regionally. Sorry, that so many of my analogies are food related but it is an easy way to point out how we are different. Barbecue, Carolina barbecue, in my opinion, is the best barbecue you can eat. You look a state or two over and they are eating a completely different kind. It is made with beef, not port, sweet, not savory.
Tea, I don't even drink tea, but am very aware of how stunned people from the North are when they come to the South and get iced tea with their meal. They aren't prepared for the sweet tea that is served. I guess that Southerners are also shocked when they get tea, plain unsweetened tea with their meal in the North. I thankfully, don't have to worry about that. I am drinking water or soda. Of, course depending where you are the water can be a real issue too.
I have driven through some small towns and large cities. I remember a trip through small towns in Michigan. Population less than 3000. It seemed the sidewalks were rolled up at 6pm, the grocery stores closed, every thing would be closed and all good people in their homes with the blinds, you guessed it, closed. I had never seen anything like it. Then, of course I have done driving though big cities with their narrow streets, never ending traffic and scarce parking. I was able to participate in moving day in Boston. Moving truck after moving truck, up and down all the narrow streets, with all the students from all the colleges trying to move from one place to the next all on the same weekend. I have never seen anything like that either. It is such an event, the year I was there, a documentary was being made to record the phenomenon.
Something I have found is that it doesn't matter where you are, there are lovely, kind people all over. They want to help and care about you. Big city, small town, people are people. Kind, loving, flawed. Sure there are some bad people out there. But there are more of the good ones. The ones who will go out of their way to help someone in need. How grateful I am, since I seem to get lost so easily and wind up depending on the kindness of strangers more than my fair share.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Today's topic Shopping. OK, I don't enjoy shopping. I somehow was born without the gene to shop. I should be rich, right? Wrong! I still spend money and shop, I just don't like it.
I think I don't like to shop because of early childhood trauma. Oh, not abuse, but shopping with my mom (gasp). She can shop. She pretends now that she is old and frail. Don't be fooled. Granted she has to use one of the motorized carts now because she is arthritic, but she can shop. When I say shop I don't just mean to purchase things. I mean going from store to store looking at display after display of stuff to buy. See, I usually know what I want, I go to the store that should have it, buy it and take it home. Done. Finished. Mission accomplished. Yeah, with mom, not so much. She does have one of the motorized carts, but they aren't a car, for goodness sake. So, why can't I keep up with her? Especially, when she stops to look at almost everything. It is part of the torture, that's why.
When I shop if I go to more than two stores (which is rare) I feel like crying. Sometimes, I just decide I don't need what ever it is at the third or more horribly, fourth store. "Yeah, I don't need shoes." You know, stuff like that. I try to think about what I need and try to be in a store that carries as much of it as possible, like Wal-mart or Target.
Now that you can buy so much on the Internet I admit I don't mind that so much. Maybe because I don't have to brush my teeth or bathe for that matter, to online shop. Oh, and if I play my cards right I can have things sent to people so I don't have to travel with their crap I bought them. OK, that is harsh. I try to buy people nice things that I think they will like and use. But, when I am stuck dragging it from place to place where they might be, I let it become crap and a burden.
Back to Internet shopping. That is my niche for shopping, and I don't just mean purchasing. I will peruse various websites for things I may want to buy. I have to be serious though to actually buy. I usually just look at the stuff. I go to certain sites looking at stuff and checking the prices. I try to be careful not to get caught up or upset about what I can't afford to buy.
I think it is important to remember there is a difference between wanting something and needing it. For instance, I need furniture for my home. I want Ethan Allen furniture. But, I can't really afford that so I don't have it. I need food to eat. I want to eat out a lot. See, I don't need to eat out and pay more for food, I just want to . I am not perfect at this and get needs and wants confused but I try to be aware. Oh, and my house has cute enough furniture and I have good healthy food to eat so it isn't like I suffer.
I love to shop for other people. I think my second job would be a personal shopper but with a twist. I wouldn't take a list and pick it up for you. Again, I hate to shop. But you tell me you are looking to buy and I hunt it down on the net. Or even better you show me what you are thinking of and I tell you yea or nay. I love the excitement of trying to figure out your taste or getting someone to think in a different direction. That isn't my goal but sometimes people aren't sure about what they are really looking for or they have an idea just not fully developed. That is when I love to help out. I am not saying I know best, I just want to think that I do.
So, despite childhood trauma I have persevered, overcome, climbed out of the shopping Hell of my formative years. I hide the scars, smile to hide the anguish and just say "Charge it!"
I think I don't like to shop because of early childhood trauma. Oh, not abuse, but shopping with my mom (gasp). She can shop. She pretends now that she is old and frail. Don't be fooled. Granted she has to use one of the motorized carts now because she is arthritic, but she can shop. When I say shop I don't just mean to purchase things. I mean going from store to store looking at display after display of stuff to buy. See, I usually know what I want, I go to the store that should have it, buy it and take it home. Done. Finished. Mission accomplished. Yeah, with mom, not so much. She does have one of the motorized carts, but they aren't a car, for goodness sake. So, why can't I keep up with her? Especially, when she stops to look at almost everything. It is part of the torture, that's why.
When I shop if I go to more than two stores (which is rare) I feel like crying. Sometimes, I just decide I don't need what ever it is at the third or more horribly, fourth store. "Yeah, I don't need shoes." You know, stuff like that. I try to think about what I need and try to be in a store that carries as much of it as possible, like Wal-mart or Target.
Now that you can buy so much on the Internet I admit I don't mind that so much. Maybe because I don't have to brush my teeth or bathe for that matter, to online shop. Oh, and if I play my cards right I can have things sent to people so I don't have to travel with their crap I bought them. OK, that is harsh. I try to buy people nice things that I think they will like and use. But, when I am stuck dragging it from place to place where they might be, I let it become crap and a burden.
Back to Internet shopping. That is my niche for shopping, and I don't just mean purchasing. I will peruse various websites for things I may want to buy. I have to be serious though to actually buy. I usually just look at the stuff. I go to certain sites looking at stuff and checking the prices. I try to be careful not to get caught up or upset about what I can't afford to buy.
I think it is important to remember there is a difference between wanting something and needing it. For instance, I need furniture for my home. I want Ethan Allen furniture. But, I can't really afford that so I don't have it. I need food to eat. I want to eat out a lot. See, I don't need to eat out and pay more for food, I just want to . I am not perfect at this and get needs and wants confused but I try to be aware. Oh, and my house has cute enough furniture and I have good healthy food to eat so it isn't like I suffer.
I love to shop for other people. I think my second job would be a personal shopper but with a twist. I wouldn't take a list and pick it up for you. Again, I hate to shop. But you tell me you are looking to buy and I hunt it down on the net. Or even better you show me what you are thinking of and I tell you yea or nay. I love the excitement of trying to figure out your taste or getting someone to think in a different direction. That isn't my goal but sometimes people aren't sure about what they are really looking for or they have an idea just not fully developed. That is when I love to help out. I am not saying I know best, I just want to think that I do.
So, despite childhood trauma I have persevered, overcome, climbed out of the shopping Hell of my formative years. I hide the scars, smile to hide the anguish and just say "Charge it!"
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Today's topic Mormon. Well, with the confirmation that we will have a Mormon as nominee for President of the United States, I feel the need to talk a little about what we believe. Understand that I am not an official representative, am not trying to proselyte, or change minds. I am just giving some information out. Oh, and the above isn't some kind of official disclaimer. I just want to lay out what my agenda is. As ever, I will be frank.
I think that there are so many misconceptions of what Latter-day Saints, Mormons, believe and practice I thought I would give a tutorial of sorts from my point of view. I was thinking about how to cram everything I believe to be true into a short blog post. I don't want to do a mini series so thought that I would go to some of the tenets of our beliefs. They are called the Articles of Faith and can be found in the Pearl of Great Price. I have listed all 13 and will make comments about some of them and will pretty much say anything else that comes to mind. Scripture will appear in blue, non scripture, me, in red.
Before I get to the Articles of Faith I want to make something clear. We do NOT as a church discuss politics from the pulpit. We are encouraged to review the candidates and prayerfully consider and vote for those who best represent our values. From the pulpit you may be encouraged to vote, to support our leaders and military. The Church officials do not endorse any candidate. They may privately do what they will but in their official capacity they maintain a neutral stance. Even though a Mormon is running for President as Mormons we shouldn't vote for him because of his faith. I couldn't in good conscience do so. Just like I couldn't vote or not vote for anyone else related to their race, religion or sex.
1 We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. That is right, we are Christians. We believe in Christ and recognize him as our Savior. There is no other way or means into Heaven but through him. Some think that we try to work our way into Heaven. No, we don't. But we know that even though we are saved by Grace, our Heavenly Father wants to strive to be like Him and our Savior Jesus Christ. Genesis 17:1 1 And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect. So, we try to do what is right, improve upon ourselves because we are commanded to do so. We refer to God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost as the Godhead. They are 3 separate beings. God the Father and Jesus Christ being flesh and bone and the Holy Ghost as a spirit being. They are one in purpose.
2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.
3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. We must repent of all our wrong doing and be obedient to God's commandments.
4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. The need to repent is real. There are steps to repentance. We must recognise the sin, feel truly sorry, stop the sin, and make restitution to those hurt by our sin. That may also have some conflict with the belief of being saved by Grace. We are saved by Grace, but cannot sin and bear no responsibility. That would negate the Atonement. Alma 11:37 And I say unto you again that he cannot save them in their sins; for I cannot deny his word, and he hath said that no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of heaven; therefore, how can ye be saved, except ye inherit the kingdom of heaven? Therefore, ye cannot be saved in your sins. That takes me to the cross. Because we don't wear crosses some think that means we aren't Christian. We are. We have a few reasons for not wearing crosses. 1, Jesus Christ isn't dead, he has risen we don't want to forget he lives. As the literal Son of God he was able to give up his life and take it up again. 2, the death on the cross isn't the only part of the Atonement, don't forget the suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, where he took on the sins of the world, which was so painful, so agonizing he literally sweat blood. Luke 22:44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. He is the Son of God, he wasn't just praying and sweating blood from fear of the scourging and death on the cross. The Holy Ghost has the role of helping us feel the spirit he has many task associated with this. Including helping us to feel comfort, peace and to testify of truth. Moroni 10:5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.
5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. We boldly claim the authority to act in God's name through the power of the Priesthood. We have no paid clergy. Those called serve do so on their own time. We pay tithes and give offerings. But these are for the building up of the kingdom, to feed the poor and care for those in need.
6 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
7 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. We do believe and study the Bible, Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. We study them at church on Sundays and in our homes. We have programs for the youth of our church to study the scriptures. We call it Seminary, over 4 years we study each for a school year, the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. From there we move onto Institute where we continue to study and learn about our Father in Heaven, our Savior, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost and their love for us and their expectations for us to grow and follow our Savior's example.
9 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God. We believe that Our Father has more to tell us in these last days. I think this scares people into thinking we don't feel the scriptures are enough. The world is troubled and chaotic place. I like to know my Father in Heaven is aware of me, aware of my personal challenges and speaks to a Prophet today. The Prophet is Thomas S Monson who oversees the Church.
10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. This a big one. We believe that Christ will come and save His people in person. The second coming will happen and He will personally reign upon the earth.
11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may. We send missionaries into the mission field to offer anyone who wants to learn about the gospel and practice as we do. Beyond that we are taught to respect the beliefs of others.
12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. This is the kind of people we are encouraged to be. To be loving, kind and decent. We are to be of service to our fellow man.
I will end with part of my personal testimony. I know God lives. I know my Father in Heaven and Savior love me, know me personally and that Jesus Christ intercedes for me, personally. Even with all the work to be done I matter to them. As do you.
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