Today's topic: Best laid plans.  My plan when I started this blog was to write about things that I care about, but to not be too political or religious.  Just because I didn't want to feel like I was beating a drum all the time.  It was slow coming to me, but I realized that the things I am passionate about are things dear to me.  Like my liberty and my faith.  So, I am kind of stuck but not in a bad way.

I have had a true story from my life on my mind and thought that it is time that I wrote it down and shared it.  It isn't an amazing story, like I lifted a burning car off of a child or discovered the cure for cellulite.  However, in the moment that this happened I was amazed and sad.  You will understand why when you read.

Let me take you first to the scriptures and the parable of The Ten Virgins.   I had the opportunity to live this parable, at least in part.  The parable can be found in Matthew  25:1-13.  The upshot of the parable is that the Bridegroom, (Jesus Christ) is coming and we are to be prepared, spiritually for His coming (oil in our lamps, or faith).  The 5 wise get into the marriage feast and the 5 foolish are out trying to buy oil failing to make it in time.  The reason the 5 foolish are left out is not because the 5 wise are mean.  It seems so when they say no we can't give you our oil.  But if you look at oil as faith, how at the last minute can I give my belief, my faith to someone unprepared?  I can't just pluck it out of my heart and mind and hand it over.  It doesn't work that way.  

I want to tell you in living this parable that I was wise.  But that would be a lie and though I may be foolish, I am not a liar.  I also hope I can convey to you what I mean when I say I lived it.

We had been warned that a bad winter storm was coming.  In North Carolina a bad storm can stop everything.  My dad has always cautioned me to keep at least half a tank of gas.  In case of emergency you can get somewhere or hit the road quickly without having to gas up.  I do shift work and was working every day leading up to the storm.  I also lived very close to work and could get there with the gas gauge on E for days.  I am not happy to admit that this was a common practice of mine.  Knowing that the storm was coming and with my dad's caution on my mind every day on my way in and every evening on my way home I felt prompted to get gas.  My younger sister and a medical student were living with me at the time and they told me that they too felt they should get gas since all three of us were on E. 

By prompted I mean a feeling more than, "Hey maybe I should do this thing."  But a real fervent inward feeling that I should be prepared and every morning and every evening I chose to ignore this prompting.  My only excuse is a poor one because we should never ignore a prompting.  At the time my work was really, really busy, difficult and stressful.  I worked 13-14 hour days and would use the bathroom before I left and when I got home.  Lunches would be gulped down in minutes so I could return to work.  And at the time it seemed that I would run from crisis to crisis for the whole 13-14 hour shift.  So when I left work I was so tired the thought of getting gas was stressful and in the morning I wanted as much time to sleep as I could muster.

My promptings come to me in several ways.  Sometimes they are my own inner voice.  (Don't tell me you don't have one and that I am just hearing voices.)  There have been a few choice times in my life that the prompting has been a still, small voice.  This wasn't one of those still, small voice times.  It was my inner voice, but I knew the prompting was more than my just own thinking.

Know that I chose to ignore the prompting and rationalized why by going over my excuse.  I was tired and work was stressful, blah, blah, blah.  The day the storm really hit was a day off and I was sure I could just get gas then. 

The storm came and it was bad, we were out of power for days.  As we lay in bed (my sister and I together to share our body heat) we could hear the crashing of trees/tree limbs all around us from the weight of the ice. The next morning, being intrepid, I decided to go get gas, on E.  To my surprise the gas station near my home didn't have power, so no pumping gas.  I traveled further and further afield looking for gas.  I finally found a station with power and filled up. I had to wait in line, sweating bullets waiting my turn.  I knew by that point I was literally running on fumes.

Later that day I took the medical student to get gas.  She had spent the night in the hospital and had come home to sleep so it was early afternoon before we set out. This is where my moment really happened, you see I needed to be told twice.  Once when I got gas for my self and again when I got gas with the student.

So there we were on a street with several gas stations and power and not too far from home.  A win, win, win, right?   It was frigidly, icy cold.  So many cars were trying to get gas the police were there to direct traffic and help with the lights that were out, (there were only patches of power).  The police were cold and cranky.  It was much more dramatic than my morning's frantic search for gas.  On the main street cars were lined up, all the lanes, for blocks and blocks and blocks in both directions, and from every side street, trying to get gas.  Unwittingly, we had approached incorrectly.  There was no way for us to know this other than the cold, angry, exasperated officer directing traffic filling us in on how we should have come.

He was not a happy camper.  In the moment I was mad at him but time and hindsight have helped me to see he was doing the best he could trying to not freeze while keeping the public safe.  We figured out how to go and wound up going the right way and a very gracious motorist allowed us in the line of hundreds to get gas.

It was here that I was struck so forcefully.  I realized I had been told all my life to be prepared, to have oil in my lamp to be ready for the coming of the Savior.  There I sat in line with all the other foolish, unprepared souls trying to get gas after the fact.  It was this temporal moment of being unprepared with gas and being witness to cars full of people, as far as the eye could see, waiting in line to put "oil" in their lamps.  It was devastating to see myself there.  I recognize that it was just me not having gas in the car, but the symbolism really hit me.  There I was foolish and unprepared for an event that I had been told by my earthly father to have what I might need ready. Likewise, my Heavenly Father has given me warning after warning to put oil in my lamp, to prepare for the day that the Savior returns.  So that I won't be left out searching for what I may need in the moment.

Speaking of what we need in the moment, I spoke with my sister to try to make sure my timeline was close to correct since this event happened so long ago.   She reminded me of other things I hadn't mentioned that really have no bearing on the parable part but were nice.  We were out of power for almost a week.  We were also lucky enough that our aunt in a near by town had power the day after the storm so we were able to stay with her family.   I worked a night shift the next week and decided to sleep at my freezing house after work.  

When I woke up hungry I tried to think of what I had available to eat that didn't require cooking.  I kept circling back to peanut butter and jelly but knew there was no milk.  I kept looping that around until, reluctant and hungry, I decided I would eat a p and j with, sigh, water.  When I opened the fridge to get the jelly, it was like a Christmas miracle!  There was a whole gallon of unopened milk staring at me!  My sister had bought milk before the storm but I hadn't known.  Oh what a tasty sandwich and big ol' glass milk I had!  And to my further joy, since I love milk, she wouldn't drink it because it hadn't been refrigerated.  The house was a refrigerator it hadn't made it above 30 degrees since the storm so I swigged every drop of that milk.  The next week in the hospital was a trial, just kidding, I was fine and so was the milk. 

I hope this will inspire you in some way.  To see that a moment of being physically unprepared made me aware of the need for spiritual preparedness.  How horrible if felt to be foolish and unprepared after being warned and warned.  And also, knowing, KNOWING what I should do and deciding that it wasn't convenient.  Letting my self rationalize my behaviour.  A long time ago I had a friend tell me that when we rationalize we tell ourselves, rational lies.  It is so true how easy it can be to forget what we have been taught for what seems good or convenient now. 

Today's topic God, the master of engineering and science. The inspiration for this post was a movie trailer I saw recently.  It's about the Exodus.  Depicted in the trailer was the parting of the Red Sea.  I thought about that and remembered that the scriptures tell us the children of Israel walked on dry ground (Exodus 14:22).  There was no mud, no puddles left to step in or over, just dry ground.  The significance of this is passed over (no pun intended) by many of us.  We don't recognize that our Father in Heaven is a expert scientist and a master engineer.

There are really smart people all over the planet that minimize Heavenly Father and His scientific mind and engineering genius.  Because they do not understand that He understands the laws of science perfectly and can use them to command the elements.  So much so that He could not only part the waters of the Red Sea but cause that the water molecules were completely separated from the grains of sand. 

 I was raised by a real live scientist.  He works with in the nuclear field and understands science on level that most of the of us just don't.  My dad is a dedicated, educated scientist who also has a clear and absolute faith in our Father in Heaven.  He has no problem with science and religion mixing and mingling.  

"There are people in this world who pit science against religion.  They seem to think that the two are mutually exclusive and that truth belongs in either one realm or the other.  In actuality, science and religion are not mutually exclusive.  They are each part of one great whole.  Truth, no matter where it is found, is part of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that includes scientific truth and the laws of nature." Quote by J.A. brilliant woman extraordinaire.

One of things I have thought about that tell me the above is true is this; God the Father tells Adam in Genesis 3:19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.  The prophets that recorded the scriptures didn't know what we know now, which is we are indeed dust,  the elements found in dirt are what we are composed of.  Calcium, potassium, salt, pepper (not really pepper just checking to see if you were paying attention) magnesium, iron etc. all play a part in our bodies and how they work.  Through scientific discovery we know this but the men who recorded the scriptures didn't.  They had no way to know we truly come from the dust of the ground.  But, God our Heavenly Father knew because He perfectly understands and uses the laws of science and because of this can do all things.  And despite all we know about science compared with our Father in Heaven we are like toddlers learning about our environment while trying not fall flat on our tails.

Another thing from the scriptures is God speaking to Cain after Cain slew Abel, his brother. Genesis 4:9 And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?  10 And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground. To this day verse 9 is the most quoted and we talk being our brothers keeper often.  But, I want to look at  verse 10 thy brothers blood crieth unto me from the ground.  For just a moment think about what we do with blood evidence.  We have used blood evidence for centuries in some way.  The saying  "blood on your hands" isn't new.  But today, we use the blood of crime victims or criminals routinely for identification or to prove something.  The importance of blood evidence can make or break a case and today as with the days of Cain and Abel, blood can absolutely cry from the ground for justice.  I submit the Lord saying that Abel's blood was crying from the ground is not just a turn of phrase but what blood can tell us was something our Father already knew.  I am not surprised by this because I recognize that He knows all things even things we cannot imagine or comprehend. Just as someone from a different century would be completely lost in our present day even more are we when compared with the knowledge and ability of God.

"...The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." Alma 30:44.  I was trying to think of a way to phrase this and couldn't think of anything better than this from the book of Alma.  I am astounded at how hard some are willing to work to try to disprove what Alma tells us.  It is really so simple and clear, if one has sense, to see that there is proof aplenty that there is God in the Heavens who engineered the Earth for us to use to learn upon. 

"Heavenly Father is the source of all truth, scientific and otherwise, and He operates within the bounds of natural law (whether He created that law or not is a moot point---natural law exists and He works within it).  Indeed, He uses natural law to fulfill His purposes, and He delights in our efforts to learn more about the universe and how it operates and functions.  Unfortunately, we sometimes don't understand the results of scientific research, or we incorrectly interpret the results.  It is important that in the search for any truth, we keep an open mind and are willing to listen to new evidence and testimony."

"Indeed, Heavenly Father encourages us to use scientific methods not only for temporal questions, but spiritual ones as well.  He does not expect or desire "blind faith" when it comes to scientific theories or spiritual beliefs.  He does expect, or hope, that we will "experiment" upon His words and test the truthfulness of any given idea or belief.  Then, once we've noted the end results (honestly and sincerely), we will know "the truth of all things."  God's plan is a plan for spiritual scientists---men and women willing to try, test, experiment, and observe in order to learn gospel truths "  Quote by J.A. still brilliant woman extraordinaire.

 My goal is always to be thought provoking.  I do not blog to change minds but to try to encourage anyone who reads this blog to think.  I won't lie that I wouldn't love it if I got others to believe as I do or to think like I think but more than that to just think.  Use your minds, the power of observation and experiment to find truth in your life and see where it takes you!

Today's topic my take on ordaining women to the priesthood.  Some of you may be aware that there has recently been a media spotlight on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints regarding the ordination of women to our priesthood.  There have been many of my faith giving their thoughts and ideas on this topic.  For a while I wasn't sure I would weigh in, but we all know I can't keep my mouth shut so I will give my two cents.

My disclaimer, I don't speak for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I am stating my own thoughts and ideas.  I may say some of the same things you have already read or heard.  So, don't think me a plagiarizer if you see similarities.  I would love to think that there are those who see things the same way as I and have better things to do with my time than steal.   Also, I don't expect anyone who isn't a member of our church to fully comprehend our faith.  But, try to keep an open mind while reading and if you find fault please, lay the fault at my door and not at my church's. 

Let me speak to you as I would a member of my church or rather explain to you how a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints understands things.  Firstly, if one is a member there are certain things we believe to be true.  One of those things is that Jesus Christ lives and that this is His church established again in the latter days.  The prophet is the Lord's mouth piece he conducts the affairs of the church according to revelation from the Lord.  Another thing is that as members we are encouraged to look at doctrine to ask questions and to pray for answers.  We are never told to blindly follow.  If someone tells you that we are to told to blindly follow they are either lying or don't know what they are talking about. We believe the priesthood is the power by which the Lord created the Heavens and the Earth and those that hold the priesthood have the authority to speak and to act in God's name.  Lastly, we have been promised that if the prophet should ever lead the church astray he would be removed from his place.  See below:

President Wilford Woodruff declared that we can have full confidence in the direction the prophet is leading the Church: “The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the programme. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so He will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from the oracles of God and from their duty” Official Declaration 1. 

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I feel a sense of peace from that statement.  Does that mean that I think the prophet is infallible?  No, but neither do I believe that he is a bumbling sexist fool.  I have faith that if the prophet were fallible enough to attempt to lead us astray the Lord would indeed remove him from his place. 

 I am not very sympathetic toward the Ordain Women group.  If one truly believes that this is Christ church and that He is the head why are they petitioning the prophet to allow the ordination of women?  Why aren't they giving themselves to much fasting and prayer, supplicating the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to ordain them?  I can't help but wonder if they want media attention or feel that public pressure will change the prophet's mind.  I can't figure them out, if they truly believe the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints then they know that the Church is our Savior's and He never did bow to pressure.  So, I conclude that they either don't believe, which is fine with me, they can believe as they wish, or they think they know better. I do have a problem with them thinking they know better.  If you think you know better than the Lord how to run His church then take it up with Him.  Don't go around whining and bemoaning your fate at the hands of men seeking sympathy for your supposed oppression.  No one is making them stay,  If they feel that the church is wrong then they should go and find what will make them happy.  I don't even mean that snarky.  I want those from OW to be happy and if they aren't happy or fulfilled in our church there are many others to choose from.

 I have never been accused of being a mouse.  I tend to refer to myself as having a strong personality.  This is lieu of the word that women like me get called a lot, and mostly by other women.  I am sure you can figure out the word I mean but in case not it rhymes with glitch.  Anyway, my point is that I am not very likely to stand back and let anyone man or woman walk on me or tell me how to think.  That never goes well.  So, the notion that I am oppressed because I don't hold the priesthood doesn't fly with me.  I am only as oppressed as I let myself be.  

There have been many arguments made pro and con women holding the priesthood.  Please feel free to check the web for arguments for and against. If the Lord wants me to hold the priesthood then I will, if He doesn't then I won't. I don't get the hoopla.  I will say that the OW movement seems to be saying that we women aren't equal or that they don't feel equal in the church. Some people get confused and assume equality means sameness.  I am not the same as a man, or frankly, another woman.  I have no thought that my value is less or more because of my sex.  I am what and who I am and feel sorry for those who aren't happy within themselves.  Ah, perhaps this is the answer to the hoopla, being unhappy has caused them to try to fix themselves by demanding something that someone else has that seems better, then they will feel fulfilled and all will be well.  Right? 
 
I have noticed there are a lot of people in and out of the church very concerned about what others have that they do not.  Very concerned.  I feel that sometimes they spend so much time worrying about what they don't have that they don't fully appreciate or use what is already theirs.  Like a kid who is focused on getting a new toy because so and so down the street has one, but they aren't playing with the toys they already have. I do that too, but people come on, let it go!!

One of the arguments for the ordination of women is that what if there is no man to provide a priesthood blessing, let's say, in case of some kind of emergency.  There is no other way to gain Heavenly assistance?  Are they suggesting that the Lord won't hear or answer my prayers because I am not a man?  So now the Lord is sexist?  I am not kidding I really feel that is what OW is telling me.  Out of all the things I have heard or read this is what makes me angry.  The irony is they don't get that they are diminishing themselves, they don't need a man to do it for them.  I refute the idea that my womanhood makes less in the sight of the Lord completely and never and I mean never have seen this in practice or in the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 
 
I want to address the excommunication.  Yes, Katie Kelly, the leader of the Ordain Women movement was excommunicated.  People outside the church see that as a punishment when actually it's a mercy.  A member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints should understand that we have made covenants with the Lord and because of these covenants we are held, by the Lord, to a certain standard.  Now that she is no longer a member of record she is free from the responsibility to those covenants. She won't have to stand before the Lord and account for herself regarding those covenants because they no longer apply to her.  I would hope she would find that freeing and not a burden.  We are taught in the church that everyone can attend all are welcome and that is true.  There may be some imperfect people who won't be kind but if Katie Kelly choses to attend church she can and should be welcomed.  We recognize that we are all sinners and all equal in the sight of the Lord, so why shouldn't we welcome everyone?   Otherwise it would mean thinking we know better than the Lord.
  
 I hope those from Ordain Women can be happy.  If they cannot then I don't want them to try and take any of my happiness.  Don't try to make me feel like less because I am not the same as a man.  Don't diminish my value because you don't see your own.  If you must go then go quietly and peaceably.  I wish you well. 

Let me end by bearing my testimony.  I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ lives, He loves me and knows me and intercedes for me personally. I know that the Book of Mormon is true and that it testifies of Christ.  I know that the Lord directs His church.  I sustain our Prophet, Seer and Revelator, Thomas S. Monson, his counselors and the other apostles.  I cannot in good conscience do anything different.  I have too much evidence to support my belief and if I were to claim anything else I would be a liar. 

Today's topic. Want versus need.  I hear this most from children.  I need a new toy, I need candy, I need etc. to infinity.  This is because they have learned early from the adults around them that needing something has a high priority.  It means more than I want, I would like or I wish for.  I have worked over the years at recognizing that I should delineate more clearly between my needs and wants.  For the children.  Almost everything as a greater impact if it is for the children.

To be clear there is nothing wrong with wanting something even something you don't really need.  I just am pointing out, there are many things that I need and want and so sometimes the lines can get slightly blurred.  It is so easy to get caught up in life and forgetting what is essential in the face of what is desired.

I need a car to get me to and from.  The hours I work preclude a bus since I have to be at work before the buses run in the morning and I take call, meaning I may be asked to go into work at a moments notice, sometimes late at night. So, I need a car.  I want a Jaguar.  I love them.  The body style, the jaguar hood ornament, the Jag experience, I want it all.  Even though they are expensive and it is said if you are getting a Jaguar you might as well buy two, one to drive and one for spare parts, I still love them.  I don't drive a Jaguar, I drive a Toyota.  It's a very nice Toyota, but it isn't a Jag and never will be.  I am living quite well with that knowing I am lucky to own a car at all.

There are things I think I need like a TV.  I would lose my mind without one.  Oh, I know there are people better than I am who don't own one but I would not do well.  I did live without one for a while when I was a kid. I even grew up without cable.  We were one of the only families in our neighborhood to not have cable.  Four stations, ABC, CBS, NBC and PBS.  That was it. It has only been since my adulthood that I have cable which is one more thing I think I need. So, I think I need a TV and I want a bigger one.  Oh, don't think me shallow, I don't need a huger than huge TV just bigger than the one I have now. Note that without thinking I put need versus want in the last sentence.  Sigh.  

There are things I want like fine china.  I love china and if I had money to buy I would have all the pretty china I wanted.  But, I don't have disposable income for sets of china I may never use.  So, it stays a want.  I know for sure I don't need set after set of fine china but what if I were hosting foreign dignitaries in my humble home (who knows, it could happen) then I would need fine china and could buy some for the occasion. So, yay, something to look forward to!

I have been guilty in the past of buying what I want instead of what I need.  I have many examples.  I am sure some are more significant than this one, but this one was a pivotal moment for me.  Because, it was a factor in beginning my desire to know the difference between need and want.  My sister and I were shopping (if you read my blog you may be aware I don't really like to shop) and I needed new work socks, all of mine were holey.  I call them church socks cause they are holey.  OK, so we are meandering and what do I find but an incense store with all kinds of lovely smells.  So, I spend my budget on incense instead of socks.  My sister pointed out my folly.  And it was an eye opener for me.  It wasn't like I spent the rent money on magic beans but it helped me begin to see things differently. And to start to define in my life my needs versus wants.

I am working with myself on a constant basis to ensure I know the difference between what I need and what I want.  I want and need to set a good example to the children in my life to help them recognize what they really need versus what they want.  This will help them as they travel through life in what I hope are not holey socks.